Where's everyone from?

A place to discuss just about anything, to get off-topic. The only restrictions are that discussions and sharing be suitable for a G-rated audience, and that the messages follow the rules of general courtesy and respect for others.

Re: Where's everyone from?

Postby cali » Wed Mar 23, 2011 8:33 pm

Yes, that makes sense, but I also think that through helping others you can help yourself heal. I don't think any of us ever heal completely, and then we're done. I believe it's a process, and likely goes like a spiral, so that sometimes we feel like we're down on the way up. Having the desire to do something is big. I support you 100% in investigating your options further, and taking the first steps in that direction.
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Re: Where's everyone from?

Postby ScottsMom » Wed Mar 23, 2011 9:23 pm

I think any survivor needs a buffer of time between the loss and any attempt at helping others in a public way. I am just coming up on 4 years and am in no way healed. I am in process and I think that lends to the service I can provide. My cofacilitator is twice a survivor of over 20 years, shetoo is working through things. There will always be times that will touch off a deep emotional response - but being able to express that before our members is a tool to teach- that its okay to feel, that these feelings may sit dormant then pop up, that this grief is a process and that we can grieve and still thrive.

I was nervous too. I don't want to portray either end of the spectrum - happy go lucky or forever depressed. I just want to model truth and let others find theirs. I still have some horrible days but without support I don't think I could be where I am. If I can help someone else move closer to where I am that will be great. And I don't doubt that some members will far surpass my progress and I will be honored to see that.

Its not a contest and there aren't any rules or goals you must meet within a specific time. Simply creating an environment that allows forward motion and safety will do a lot of the work. I am served by the group as well because I am not just a facilitator but a survivor. This is for me too. I need to help others as much as I want to help them.

Think about it a while. Perhaps meet with some people who might mentor you. They can see if you are ready to do it. Get some training in group facilitation - it doesn't have to be specific to suicide survivors. Spend some time with the idea and see if it sticks. It takes a passion and commitment to do it along with time and a fortitude for hearing the sadness and horror shared in session. You can do it I bet.

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Re: Where's everyone from?

Postby SJC » Thu Mar 24, 2011 6:43 am

Hi,I'm Libby,41 years old and come from Brighton on the south coast of Britain. I lost Stuart my husband on 20/11/10 he had hung himself. I returned home from work to find him. He had his 38th birthday just 1 month before. He suffered bi polar and had been sectioned back in July for a previous attempt. This was his 3rd attempt this year (what's the saying 3rd time lucky). It was only a month until we should have celebrated our first wedding anniversary little did I realise that when we married that we would never get to celebrate any anniversaries. They say time heals but every day seems to get harder. I hope to find some comfort and support here and hopefully in time be able to support others.
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Re: Where's everyone from?

Postby Shari » Mon May 02, 2011 8:14 pm

I am from Los-Angeles, California
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Re: Where's everyone from?

Postby Scripswife » Tue May 03, 2011 8:23 pm

I live in central Kentucky. I lost my husband in August, 2009. We have one child together.. his spitting image.. sweet sweet baby! Probably the only thing that kept me from giving up on everything was being pregnant when he passed. That and one of the most amazing people (families) on the planet took me into her (their) home for the first month after he passed and made sure I got up, went to work, ate, showered and slept every day. I still haven't figured out a way to repay them.
Till we meet again, I love you, good night.
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Re: Where's everyone from?

Postby angel11403 » Wed May 04, 2011 2:02 pm

My name is Nan, I am 28yrs old from Buffalo, NY. I have 3 wonderful kids that have helped me through this so much even though they dont realize it. I lost my nephew who was so much more than just a nephew to me on 10/11/10....that day changed my life forever, dont know if I will ever be the same person I once was.
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Re: Where's everyone from?

Postby lel70 » Wed May 04, 2011 3:45 pm

Im Lesley, 41 from Dundee in Scotland. My husband of 20 years hung himself just over 2 years ago, wne our sons were 16 & 18, in the house next door to where we lived. He had alcohol problems, and things used to b great between us before the drinkin and other issues got in the way. I will miss him every day forever. xx
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Re: Where's everyone from?

Postby tomslove52 » Wed May 04, 2011 7:38 pm

Can't believe I've been here over a month and never saw this post until today. Anyway....
I'm Christi, 38, from Niagara Falls, NY. I don't have any children(unless you count my fur-baby, Scout-
part Austrailian Shepherd/part????) I lost my fiance/soulmate/best friend, Tom, on 2/18/2011, just
4 days after his 59th birthday. I miss him SO much.
Remembering my fiance Tom Stoyle Jr
I miss you and I love you
~Yesterday, today, and always
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Re: Where's everyone from?

Postby justine » Thu May 12, 2011 2:13 am

Justine, California, 57. My ex husband (divorced late 2008; we remained friends) used a shotgun to end his life late August, discovered 10 days later in September 2010. One daughter from previous marriage, age 36, autistic (and lovely). 4 wonderfully neurotic housecats--long story--and 1 wonderfully neurotic horse--also a long story. Complicated relationship with the ex--he was my best friend and at times my worst nightmare. He was 67, treated for depression since his 20s, diagnosed bi-polar II in June 2010, was struggling with correct meds and dosage at the time of his death. He was a former Haight-Ashbury hippie who continued to use/abuse legal and not so legal drugs. A very intelligent, creative and funny guy--the kind of person who did NY Times crossword puzzles in ink, contributed to the literature in his field...and I never laughed as much with anyone in my life. I miss him a great deal. And sometimes I am incredibly angry with him. Overall--heartsick, slammed, stricken, confused, guilt-ridden and lost. Just found this site a couple of weeks ago, wish I'd found it months ago, but happy to be here. Well, not happy, not happy at all actually. Would prefer this site had no reason to exist, as would we all. :cry:
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Re: Where's everyone from?

Postby Terino » Mon May 23, 2011 1:26 am

Margaret, from Virginia. I am 43 years old. I lost my ex-boyfriend, Robert to suicide in November of 1987. He was just 20 years old. He was my first love, my first everything, and I will always remember him.

I miss him so much!
Remembering Robert. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him.
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