Crisis of Faith

please stop blaming God.!each one who took their own lives made that choice themselves, with or without mental illness involved. instead,blame this disgusting species of a human race. !God gave us free will and all we do is abuse it.why did our loved ones turn to suicide as a choice? too much stress with having to juggle work, home, relationships, making a living, keeping up with the joneses,chasing after the perfect consumer based life in a ridiculously overpressured contemporary world.chasing after fame, self gratification.who invented the corporate capitalist business system which works people to death only to become more riddled in debt and hopeless! so dont blame God for the greed of the human species.. i am sure God weeps everyday when he looks at how we behave.my gf killed herself to punish her family. do you think her death has changed anything? of course it hasnt. they are still the most non caring revolting people i have ever met.they killed her. not God!
and for Gods sake, stop asking "why me"? why areany of us here?would you really really care and ask " why them'' with the same intensity if you were blissfully happy and it happened to your neighbour.?i am sorry, i just get really angry when people blame God.Go and google ' why do bad things happen to good people"....read the judaist theory and not only christian theories. if i have offended anyone with my post. tough. !handle it!i lost my gf to suicide becos she lived her life negligently as a result from being abused by her parents. HEr parents. not God! her parents!

Pegasus - Amen....When I thought so many times why God had taken my babies, I would pray and pray and pray...and begin to realize that such horrible experiences had to be the work of the devil...for I don't believe in an angry, punishing God...and I have felt the same since my husband's loss....

Angelseeker - "would you really really care and ask " why them'' with the same intensity if you were blissfully happy and it happened to your neighbour?"....I had posted recently in response to how people who have not experienced this tragedy/nightmare cannot fully comprehend what we have gone through....I think that, if "it happened to my neighbor," I would ask "why them?", but I would never be able to fully comprehend what they would be going through....

...and about free will - I'm a bit confused about it...I truly believe that my husband suffered from mental illness for a while, but he would drift back-and-forth between reality and confusion, esp when, in a tirade he left the house and took his life, but he had the frame of mind to block our dog off before going outside (which signifies to me that he knew that I would run outside when I heard the shot and that the police would be coming) and the fact that he said in a phone message that he "knew what he was doing was wrong"....and I kept asking my mother, where was his guardian angel? i want to know, where was his guardian angel? My mother kept telling me that he didn't listen to his guardian angel...but I wouldn't accept this answer and said, "no....."...but after I listened to his message in full and he said that he "knew what he was doing was wrong," I began to believe that his guardian angel, to whom I prayed to so many, many times, did try to convince him to not do it....but that a darker force pushed him over, whether that be mental illness or not...

...not sure if any of this makes sense....would love to hear others' opinions about this...

a very well thought out perspective Pegasus.

Blaming God is a gut reaction not eell thought out by people wanting answers. It is also a process in figuring out where we fit in then and now. I think most realize soon after that God didn't cause this and is not punishing anyone.

Our loved ones were killed by pain regardless of the ME's findings or reasons given in suicide notes. They did not choose anything - they opened the only door available to their pain paralyzed minds. Its not retaliation they seek, its relief.

My neighbor did suicide and I did ask, why them? why anyone? It defies our nature and eludes understanding in any circumstance. . . and begs understanding. That understanding heals us and the defamed names of those we lose.

None of us can ever hope to change the way we are treated as survivors until we change the negative words even we use to discuss it. As we move through shock, anger, blame, questioning . . .all of it we must be kind to the treatment and character lent to a death resulting from illness no different from a heart attack. I know we use phrases or words as we have learned the, but isn't it time to call things what they are?

Just my experience and what I've learned.
Now, lets all think a bit and be kind to eachother, the angry and the hopeful all have value here but lets not judge or point fingers. We all have feelings and all are valid in their moment. Lets validate and not violate. (((((((((((HUGS ALL AROUND))))))))))
V--

I believe that it was my son's will to leave this life, because he was in so much pain. That God's will here on earth truly has to be our own. That God didn't take him from me, but welcomed him into heaven, as soon as he passed on. I know Donnie was a lost soul, and now he is a Spirit flying free. Of course this is just how I feel. We all have our own thoughts on this.

Thank you Kansley for your post. As always you bring me peace........

Sending you hugs,

Lanie
Moderator

just to share my faith.

while wating for my mum body in the mourtury, i sense someone standing beside me. i cannot see but somehow i was told it was Jesus.
I ask him show me the sign by rain that my mum was with him. Suddenly it rain.
Few hour later, i have doubt again. I cry when i can still see the blood at the drain. (my mum fall from height). i told God, rain to show me Mum with God..
It rain.
Few days later, while i am smoking, i notice past few days no star. so i ask God to show me star . Then i found 1 star at the corner of the sky.

and yes, I HATE DEVIL .
They coem adn deceive steal and kill. I HATE THEM!

thank you samwong for sharing that.......God is so real, and so good, to send you those signs.....He has
done the same for me.....I still ask Him to keep sending them. I'm very sorry for the loss of your Mum.

I've started to wonder lately, if I were sitting face-to-face talking with God, what would it be like? What would I say? What would we talk about?

I imagine I’d be too afraid to speak, but if I had the courage, I’d probably be speaking through many tears. I’d ask Him how he could forgive such a wretched person as me, for all those big mistakes I’ve made so far in my life. I’d also ask how this all came to be, this whole mess that we are all too familiar with. I mean, He knew it was going to happen, long before it ever did. But why did He plan this for our lives? Did He really think we’d be strong enough? Because I’m really not strong enough. I can barely stand my own. How exactly did this happen, though? Did He know dad was tired and couldn’t keep going? Did He give up on dad, or did dad give up on Him? Was He mad at dad for his choice? Or was He accepting of my dad, knowing everything he went through?

I’d ask God more specifically about dad too. Is he doing better now? Is he out of his pain now? Can he see us from where he is now? Is he watching over us now? How does he feel about the pain we all feel now because of this? If there is anything he could say to us, what would it be? Are we making him proud/ happy when we try to move forward, or do we make him upset that we are trying to? Is he glad that I’m back in band again? Or better yet, is God happy that I’m playing again? Why didn’t dad leave a note? What were his last thoughts? Were they of us or of his troubles? Did he think that none of us loved him? Were we not reason enough for him to stick around a while longer?

If I could, I’d go on to ask God how He possibly thinks I can handle this. I’ve been through enough as is. My life was already hard enough with me squeaking by at times. But now? Now I can barely face the day. I just want to run far away and hide from it all. Heaven only knows I can’t face this anymore. Is God mad at me for my recent stupid decisions too? But then again, He already knew from the moment He created me, didn't He? So, He knows how everything will turn out for me and everyone else. When it rains, it pours. Unfortunately, the sky just won't clear up and the sun rarely peaks out. Oh, how I miss the warm sun that brightened my days.

Hi Jamjam,

I can understand . I too have so many WHy in my head and only God can answer and why he allowed this to happen. HE could have made me wake up and stop my mum for jumping. He could have do 100 ways to stop it. But no, he did not. We can only put our trust on him. Remember , he is a good God and his thoughs are higher than our. I really do not know why he can allow my mum such a kind person to have this ending. But i cannot dont trust him, cos i cannot LIVE without HIM.

I pray everyday to him to take care of my mum in heaven with him... i believe i will united one day with her... till that day come.

I hope peace be with you soon...