Crisis of Faith

I so confused about my faith right now. I don't know what I believe in, or where I stand. I don't believe in God, I haven't for some time, but I want to. It's hard to explain, but it's like I need something to fall back on when things get rough. I somehow want to know there is something more out there, but I can't. I guess you could say I'm mad at God and that has caused me to stop believing. I often think of all the suffering in the world and the unanswered prayers and I wonder how a greater power could let those things happen. How do people keep their faith strong when things go wrong?

Mikayla,

I am angry with God too...esp when thinking, why did you let this happen? why did you call my husband and not give me the wisdom to figure out what was going on to save him or give my husband the strength to get help or ask for help?

However, my church is the only thing that has gotten me this far....they have found me a handyman to help me with things around the house and invited me to a weekly meeting group...they invited me to a mass this weekend for those who have lost a loved one this year and, even though I lost two of my babies last year, they read the names of my husband and all four babies that I had lost....I could just go on & on about how they have been there for me....

It's definitely conflicting, though....I hear you on that....and, while I attend mass, I often have to leave toward the middle-end b/c my emotions are so painful, powerful, and, yes, conflicting....

Maybe you could find a similar church in your area and you could see what happens or how you feel...

I am having troubles with faith too. I am a christian and believe in God and heaven. When I was younger and my grandparents and older relatives died I had no problem believing that they were in heaven, reunited with family and friends.

When my brother took his life I didn't for a second think that he was sent to hell. I believed that he was in heaven in the arms of God and the rest of the family who had passed. When my mother died I had a bit of a break of faith. I can't explain it but suddenly the idea of an afterlife makes no sense. I still believe in God and am not angry at him for allowing these terrible things to happen, but I just don't think she is 'up there'. Trying to imagine her with her son, and parents and siblings disturbs me because I doubt it's existence.

Maybe it's simply denial over her death, who knows.

Just wanted to share a verse of scripture that I have as my Facebook status today:

For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse. Romans 1:20


Little Sister, I totally understand what you mean.......I think if we're in denial over a loved ones' death, it can and does cause
us to question our faith. Just wanted to say I believe Heaven is VERY real.....and I believe my son is there-but I hate that he
had to go so soon, so young, AND before his parents......God's creation speaks to His very existence, and if HE exists, so
does Heaven......I have struggled too since my son's passing, and I've come to realize that it's because I don't want to let him
GO. It's very typical to question one's faith after loss like ours.....I just encourage those of you who have faith to keep believing...
grief tends to twist things, but much of our faith is just that: faith in something EVEN when we can't SEE it.

I appreciate all the thoughts here. It's much easier to feel love and have faith with God when things are going well. Having faith in his all knowing, having faith in his unconditional love is much harder when we are hurting so badly and like Matnet says "believe my son is there, but hate that he had to go so soon." If I didn't have my beliefs and my faith in God, I don't know how I could make it through this trial. I can barely make it even as I know that I will be with my son again. I would never have chosen for him to go before me.
To answer your question Mikala is to take one step at a time, one day at a time. For awhile, going to church was just going through the paces, but I eventually began to feel again. I can't say I'm normal yet, but my faith is as strong or stronger than ever. If you pray, God will lead you to what is true, if that is what you want. I hope you find what you need to help your pain and give you hope.

With Thankgiving here this is particularly appropriate to my faith crisis. I had lived as an obedient Christian my entire life and never doubted for a second the reality of God. I was however pretty upset and felt my circumstance was unfair - to me. Why me? I was ticked. Scott was safe in God's arms and I was feeling like the proverbial hot potato! I certainly did not feel rewarded for my love and loyalty.

I was convicted many times by scripture I had heard since I was a baby. A big one being "give thanks in all circumstances." (THESSALONIANS) I had to agree to disagree with God and give it over as part of His plan. That I was being tested and my job was to continue my faith journey and trust and thank Him no matter my opinion. I really hate the plan but its not for me to say because I don't have the schematics - God only shows the way and tells us what to do in order for the path to be lit as we follow.

So I "praise Him in this storm" and am holding on for dear life , even as I let go.
I know I am loved in a way so profound I cannot fathom and I wish the same for you all.
V--

I think each of us has to figure out our relationship with God, expecially in the difficult times. For me, as one of the older members here, I have learned much about my faith during the catastrophic illness my husband suffered and the death of our son. The last six years of our lives have often been compared to Job, so I have read this book in the Bible often....and I have to say this. None of us ever ask God.."Why have you chosen to bless me with a home and a family and job and the honor to live in a country full of abundance and freedom"....we do not question God's goodness when we are blessed with good health and prosperity and love ect....so who am I to question God when life gets difficult, when I experience sickness not health, lack not abundance, sorrow not joy. It is so very hard for us to even begin to understand the mind of God.....but I have learned to trust Him, to believe that He has his plan and purpose for my life and I can surrender it to Him and not fear. In the early mornining hours of yesterday (4am) I awoke and found my husband lying in a pool of blood. I awoke him and told him that something was not right and we needed to go to the ER. On the way, I held his hand and told him that this could be a serious infection or a kidney stone or a tumor....but what ever it was, God's grace would be sufficent and we would get thru it together....that even if this was the beginning of the end, we would walk the road together in faith, not fear. Thankfully it ended up being just a very serious bladder infection and he will be OK.....but we have chosen this.....as for my husband and I....we will serve, trust and walk with the Lord until the end of our days.....it is simply the only choice that allows us to have peace. I hope that as you struggle thru this crisis, you will find a place of peace with your faith and I can tell you that when that happens, you will find it was worth the struggle....at least it was for me.
Jason's Mom....Kathie

I truly appreciate all the posts here.......Kathie, such a good point that we don't ask God "why on earth did you
bless me with this home? this job? This family? This food?"
And so true too that God's ways are higher than ours...........that is what He told us, isn't it? Much better to
trust Him than to question "why?" I think God brings us to that point in His time....to continue to question Him,
for me, is keeping me stuck.....most days now I can say "I don't understand why, but He does...." It reminds
me of 2 Timothy 1:12--
"That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet this is no cause for shame, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him until that day."

I think we could look at it as "entrusting" our kids to Him.....He is MORE than trustworthy, and so no One better to trust them with.

I so confused about my faith right now. I don't know what I believe in, or where I stand. I don't believe in God, I haven't for some time, but I want to. It's hard to explain, but it's like I need something to fall back on when things get rough. I somehow want to know there is something more out there, but I can't. I guess you could say I'm mad at God and that has caused me to stop believing. I often think of all the suffering in the world and the unanswered prayers and I wonder how a greater power could let those things happen. How do people keep their faith strong when things go wrong?

My thoughts on this topic I fear are heavy, all who read please forgive me if you think so. I believed in God my whole life but until I was 20 I never felt a difference in my life due to Him. Around the time I turned 20 things changed and I considered myself truly 'saved,' but I spent about 5 years following that with God and very angry. Praying, reading my bible, and often *screaming* at Him. How could He allow my dad to be insane? To kill my brother and himself? Why would a loving God ALLOW things like that? It made me scared, what else might He allow?

A conclusion dawned on me from my bible reading. It settled things between me and God, but it's still scary. God gave us free will, and mixed into the fray is His enemy the devil. "Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour" 1 Peter 5:8. From my perspective, those of us here on this forum have seen evidence of this more so than perhaps many others. It's all I could settle on to give me peace. In Revelations, I don't recall which verse, I read a passage saying basically that at the end of days, God's children will be there beside Him when the devil is tossed into the pit, personally, I'd like to give him a swift kick in the face on his way down, with steel tipped boots on my feet.

Me too Pegasus, me too. (I'd like to give him a swift kick in the face on his way down, with steel tipped boots on my feet.)

And you're right: it IS scary.......yet, God has also given us many promises of His presence...and if we're staying close to Him,
we need not fear the devil. The worst thing the enemy could do to me is kill me.....and as a child of God, that would send
me to my eternal Home, where my Savior and my son await........that's what helps me when I feel afraid.