Father's Day

[BluePookie]

Today is Father's Day around here. The first one without my dad... I've been through this day in "auto pilot mode". No one around me has done or said anything to me. I feel so alone some days, it's like no one remembers him anymore. The one year mark is approaching so quickly, it feels like it was yesterday. It's been such an awful year

[Bereaved1]

I'm very sorry, BluePookie. How are you remembering your Dad?

[insearchofpeace]

(((BluePookie))) I am thinking of you BluePookie...and holding you and your Dad close in my thoughts right now. You and I are on the same timeline...and I feel so much of the same thoughts you have expressed. These particular 'days' are made even harder when we are bombarded by all the '*special* Day' advertisements and reminders of our very personal and *special* losses...fueling that internal isolation. I feel utter disbelief at the fact that it will be one year without my Dad next month. I know the lonliness and frustration you are feeling, that complete lack of acknowledgement of our Dads existance is just so hurtful.... Whenever I mention him...no matter if it's a happy memory or something 'positive' about him, people's eyes just go down or they look away and change the subject...*ouch*....

I had ended my Dad's obituary with this saying, something a friend had shared with me after my Dad died:
"It is a lifetime - not a moment, that defines a man"
In my heart, I know it is up to us survivors to remember and honour the lifetime of memories that make up the entirety of our loved ones. And despite most people's ignorance, we cannot let life bully us into being ashamed of who they were because of the terrible disease of depression that took them from us in the end. One moment of darkness cannot extinguish the love, light, and bonds of our lifetimes shared.
(hugs) & love to you...
Peace

[BluePookie]

Bereaved1, I don't know how to answer your question. But I wasn't expecting any kind of celebration or anything special. It's just no one asked me how I was doing... just that.

insearchofpeace, thank you so much [[]] I know you understand

[Bereaved1]

I'm sorry nobody gave you support or love and you felt alone. Father's Day, Birthdays, Anniversaries, Holidays are hard days for us, missing them. Even years after our shock, the pain returns at every remembering day. It really helps to have some kind of contact with your love for them and memories of them. Writing letters to them, sending balloons up with messages, lighting candles and talking to them, reading about what other people do, visiting a special place you went with them helps. Some of us do those things on other days. It doesn't matter what other people do or don't do on these days. You are not alone. (((hugs)))

[hopeandpray]

I'm so sorry. It's been a year and 3 months since my dad died. People move on very very quickly, they don't understand the grief for us continues long after others have forgotten. I love that quote. My father was a beautiful man that gave so much to the world. He is not defined by the last days of his life, of all the hurt that he unknowingly caused us.