A sign.....?

A discussion of any suicide issue or grief topic that don't fit elsewhere.

A sign.....?

Postby insearchofpeace » Tue Oct 11, 2011 9:00 pm

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Last edited by insearchofpeace on Mon Jan 06, 2014 6:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: A sign.....?

Postby Drew48 » Wed Oct 12, 2011 12:10 pm

As my friend on this special forum Insearchofpeace has started this thread, as she asked I will quite happily share my "sign"...

I lost my wife, my life and soulmate on this earth, Heather to suicide in July this year,

Heather's dog Holly (1 of 2 black labs we have) has always had a "thing" about only chasing one ball that she loves all through her life at any given time. Ever since she was a puppy. We could throw any other ball and she knew it wasn't the one she loved and even when it was in the "air" she would stop in her tracks and leave it until we threw her special one. Well obviously over the years (she is 7 on 21st of this month) she has lost two or 3 and we have had to wean her onto another. Well Heather said to me about 3 month's ago that Holly's ball was getting so small now and how were we going to find another one of the same texture and look when that one's gone. I hadn't thought anymore about it until yesterday afternoon when I got out the car to take them both for a walk along the seafront. They both jumped out the car and as usual I went to get Holly's ball off the back seat. It was gone. OMG I thought. This will be a fun walk as Holly will now walk backwards all the way looking at me waiting to throw it as she does. What am I going to do I thought. Oh well I continued to walk up the grass bank up towards the beach and as always Holly was looking at me and walking backwards waiting for me to throw her ball looking puzzled! I got up the top of a mound towards the beach huts to a track just before the entrance to the beach and there on the floor in front of me (Yes you guessed it!...I swear on my 3 boys lives.) was a white ball the same texture only near new like the one she had. I looked up at the sky and just broke down. I sobbed and crouched on my haunches and picked it up. Hollys tail wagged faster than normal, I dusted it off and threw it. Off Holly went after it. She stopped when she got to it. Sniffed it for a second picked it up and came charging back to me. Now if that wasn't Heather who somehow arranged that then I do not know! Gave me comfort. Gave me a little peaceful moment. The very first.

Please share (only if you want to) your "signs" on this thread.....
Better to have loved and lost....than never loved at all....
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Re: A sign.....?

Postby Blossom » Wed Oct 12, 2011 3:21 pm

Straight after my son died, 'coincidences' happened at every turn. It was like a whole universe of seemingly random happenings, just fell softly and slotted into place. In hindsight, I think that the complete upheaval of this experience revealed what happens around us all the time.....it's just that we are usually busy/attending to living a 'construct'...cultural etc. I didn't ask to tune in -it came in a package deal with shock and grief, and as I grow back into the 'busy world', it is tapering off a bit. Those signs are very powerful....they connect and fuel a part of us that gets no mention in the 'literature', and is spurned by conservative religions.
I had a shooting star (about which I was ambivalent...sorry), my husband's beer bottle moved a couple of inches front of our eyes as we were watching, at a moment when our small, remaining family were connecting joyously for one of the first times after he died....again I was ambivalent. There were a few more. While being 'alert' or open deeply to undeniable signs has tapered off ( I feel my son is away now)...what remains is a heightened resonance with nature, colour, sound....and those in pain. I am glad you have recorded these signs...while they may not hold the 'wonder' of this day forever, they will never be 'less real' , and they are ballast, like nothing else is, in surviving.

Gawd....sounding all preachy....the above is just an opinion.
Blossom x

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.
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Re: A sign.....?

Postby Suzanne » Wed Oct 12, 2011 4:36 pm

I too am pretty cynical about the paranormal, but I have experienced some of this since Dave's suicide. Shortly after Dave died, my daughters and I had a little redbud tree planted in a local park that Dave visited and enjoyed for many years. The Parks Dept gave us permission to bury his ashes in the tree pit. It is only a short walk from my house and I visit the tree often, enjoying Dave's life force. The tree has been the source of some high jinx, the sort that Dave would have enjoyed.

About 2 years after we planted the redbud, another tree was planted very close by. Suddenly some odd fungus began growing under the redbud in a way that suggested an obscene gesture. I don't think Dave was too happy about having a neighbor so close to him!

On my birthday this past mid-May, I took an early morning walk past the redbud. It was past blooming time for the tree, but as I looked down at a very low branch some new blossoms had opened overnight. And directly below that branch, lying in the wet grass, lay two soggy dollar bills. I like to think the flowers and the money was a birthday gift from Dave!

I don't know how much of this is coincidence and how much is design, but it is comforting somehow.

Suzanne
Wife of Dave 10/17/47-11/1/06
Read our story
http://books.google.com/books?id=4zThE8 ... A7o6s-fPpU
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Re: A sign.....?

Postby mkm0272 » Fri Oct 14, 2011 8:43 am

It was at my husband's burial when I felt his presence. It was an extremely hot day and I was just standing there in a moment of shock like so many of us are. Then in an instant this gush of wind came from nowhere. It was strong and as quickly as it came it left. It was like he was telling me, "I'm here. I'm here with you." It felt so strong like I knew it was him but then part of me thought that I am just grasping at something to hold on to. A few days later I brought up the subject with my aunt she said her and a few felt it as well but didn't want to tell me. They felt the same thing. It was just that one gush and then it was gone.

I know wherever they are they try the best way they can to give us signs that they are with us. That is why with every wind that blows I feel that he's there trying to hold me with each gush telling me he is always with me.
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Re: A sign.....?

Postby Tootle » Fri Oct 14, 2011 10:33 am

When my best friend Baldy died suddenly of a heart attack in 2008, I was stunned, in disbelief...he was my rock, more like a father figure who watched out for me when I was younger, and remained an amazing friend throughout the years. I was sitting out at our beach lot contemplating how devastated I was at losing him..I was sitting there talking out loud to him, crying and asking him for a sign that he was ok..it was then that the yellow large bucket 20 feet away from me,with large rocks in the bottom fell onto it's side, it wasn't teetering but had been sitting flat on the ground.(The skeptic in me went over and uprighted it and pushed it over again, and it took a bit of force, not something the wind would do) I was shocked and then it made me giggle because it was kind of creepy, but it comforted me more than anything..

After my brother died, I kept talking out loud to my dead loved ones to let me know that Rob was ok, about a week after his death, I dreamt of Baldy for the first time since his death in 2008... Baldy was happy to see me, but no one else in the dream could see him, just me and he said twice "he's ok" with the kindest, most compassionate, warmest, most gentle look on his face...it was so real that I woke up in stunned disbelief, missing him and feeling comforted. I woke up with the feeling that my brother had sent Baldy with a message because he couldn't do that yet. It would be three weeks later that I had my brother dream(which is in another post).
In memory of my big brother Rob, my hero and best friend.

To forget time. To forgive life. To be at peace.
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Re: A sign.....?

Postby cherish » Wed Oct 19, 2011 10:24 am

Before my son died we were talking about life after death, and we said we should have a sign. I said, yea, like a siamese cat or a rose or something. This was forgotten. We had this conversation a long time before he died. Well I was sitting in the livingroom one night, soon after my son died, and I said I know you can't, but I wish you could give me a rose. The next morning when I got up and walked into the kitchen I couldn't believe my eyes. There were rose petals all over the floor. I had a dried rose on a shelf, and somehow it ended up scattered all over the floor. My heart lifted. I have cats that probably scattered the rose petals all over, but how did the rose get on the floor in the first place? The shelf was too high for the cat to reach. Was this a sign from Donnie? I like to think so.
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Re: A sign.....?

Postby Drew48 » Thu Feb 23, 2012 10:40 am

This thread reminds me of a song that helped me through the early days..... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TooEjrCnUWw Hope it helps somebody on here like it did and still does me....Love to all on this never forgiving journey...Drew
Better to have loved and lost....than never loved at all....
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Re: A sign.....?

Postby gosh » Sun Apr 01, 2012 9:59 am

I like to believe in such things, your stories are really heart-warming. The only thing I 'felt' was last Sunday when I was preparing dinner for our family and I could swear that instead of spaghetti I smelt my brother's scent and felt a tiny breeze as if someone has just walked next to me.
Euphoria, Euphoria, you come at such a price
Every time I get a hold of you, I know I roll the dice
How far can I go from my pain before it takes my life?
Perhaps in death, Euphoria, you'll be forever mine
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Re: A sign.....?

Postby irwinsmom » Mon Apr 09, 2012 3:16 pm

I too have experienced signs since my husband passed just a little over 6 months ago. The night he passed there was a lady bug in my kitchen that stayed for more than a day. This was odd because there were so many people in and out of my house that night and you would think that it would have flown away. We had another lady bug show up on our car windshield while driving. I felt that it was my husband letting us know he was there.

Another night I was lying in bed ready to fall asleep when all of a sudden the scent of his cologne crossed in front of my face. It didn't startle me at all I just took a deep breath and said ok. Just two weeks ago again as I was lying in bed I though I felt someone gently touching my check. I could actually feel the pressure of a touch and again it didn't startle me I just said ok.

Recently a casual friend messaged me that she saw a figure in her home out of the corner of her eye while she was painting (she was alone) and then a voice spoke to her and said "its ok Gina stop being so nervous when you talk to Lynda, talk about me to her its ok, dont' be nervous". As soon as I read her message I started to cry and shake. I talk about my husband all of the time which helps me get through some really tough days. I truly believe that my husband is here with us and in his own little way is letting us know. It brings me so much comfort. If this is what I have to hold onto then that is fine with me. Just knowing that his presence is around gives me a little peace.
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