Some Answers for those new to Suicide Loss - an article

An area especially for those who are newly bereaved by suicide. If you feel alone or need extra help, please let us know.
User avatar
Posts: 672
Joined: Fri Nov 05, 2010 11:09 am

Some Answers for those new to Suicide Loss - an article

Post by psyquestor » Wed Apr 24, 2013 10:59 am

Some Answers for Those New to Suicide Loss
By Tony Salvatore

Losing someone that you love or someone whom you are very close to suicide
is the most devastating loss of all. Nothing in your life has prepared you
for it. No one is ever be ready for it. These are some brief answers to
of the questions that may be on your mind:

[*] Why did this happen? It happened because your loved one felt
psychological pain so severe and unbearable that they believed could only
stopped if
they died. The pain was caused by depression, which was caused by something
in their life and/or in their brain. Drinking or using drugs make things
much worst where they are present.

[*] Why didn't I know? Most don't know the symptoms of depression or the
warning signs of suicide. Many of those suffering depression hide it and
suicidal individuals don't show any signs of their risk or danger. Even
there is some concern it is very hard to accept that someone you know so
well is in mortal danger of suicide. Being life-affirming and non-suicidal
makes it hard to recognize the opposite states in others.

[*] Why didn't my loved one tell me? Some may find it hard to ask for help
or to admit to mental illness, even if it may be temporary. Some may feel
shame at being suicidal. Intense pain is distracting and consuming. It
those suffering self-centered. It takes away the sense of control. It
mean that they didn't care for or love those suffering because of the loss.
Tunnel vision is part of being suicidal.

[*] Why didn't somebody do something? Even professionals sometimes have a
hard time seeing that someone's suicidal. Misplaced concerns about privacy
confidentiality may deter warnings to others. There are no reliable
predictors of suicide.

[*] Why do I feel like I'm going crazy? You have suffered the greatest and
most horrible emotional shock of your life. Suicide is a severe traumatic
loss -- sudden, unexpected, and violent. You feel betrayed, out of control,
disoriented, and hurt. This is what happens after a suicide. Nobody's ever
ready for it, and it overwhelms anyone whom it directly affects.

[*] Why can't I get over this? The loss is too fresh and you are
traumatized. The first weeks and months are very hard and your emotions may
turmoil for a long time. You never really "get over" your loss, but you
eventually come to terms with it.

[*] Why doesn't anything help me? You can be helped. Start by seeing your
doctor. She or he may be able to recommend services or medications that may
help. You can go to a suicide loss support group or talk to a grief
specialist, counselor, or clergy person. You can find information and
people to
to on-line. These may help you.

by: Tony Salvatore
Source URL:
Proud Army Mom

I thought I would lay down and die after losing my Son to suicide.
Instead I chose to fight the monster that killed him.

Hold On, Pain Ends