Why, Dave?

An area especially for those who are newly bereaved by suicide. If you feel alone or need extra help, please let us know.

Why, Dave?

Postby Closedbook1975 » Fri Jan 20, 2017 9:15 am

Hello, I'd like to refer to myself as K. Here is my story into the new territory which is loss via suicide.

Yesterday was the 1-week anniversary of my 2nd-cousin Dave taking his own life. The sadness is not as strong as it was last week, but I still feel very angry with what Dave did:

http://www.heraldtimesonline.com/news/local/man-found-in-park-identified/article_510af5df-c9d8-58bc-8195-206b05371edd.html

Two Thursdays ago, I was watching Josh Gates on the Travel Channel speaking with some shady looking characters with elephant tusks in the back of their truck; the next minute, my mom is on the phone crying, wailing "I thought he was happy!". I spent the next day on autopilot, pretending (faking) being okay to my colleagues, whom I did not tell of the death.

I did not go to the service they had for him earlier this week, since work obligations did not allow for it; this is just as well, since the level of anger I felt towards him would not have made me very good company.

To help, I have viewed the Eames Yates documentary and have read the Beverly Cobain co-authored book "Dying to Be Free".

This is not the first time I had experienced a suicide (a family friend took his life when I was younger, due to a nasty divorce), and I had also lost a classmates whose ex-wife had planned to leave with the kids. Still, these did not have the same impact as Dave's death.

I am finding life goes on, keeping myself busy with the regular demands of life.
Closedbook1975
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