New here, getting used to opening up

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Joined: Tue Mar 15, 2016 9:01 pm

New here, getting used to opening up

Post by summeriris » Wed Mar 16, 2016 9:27 pm

My friend Kelcy committed suicide two years ago on March 22nd and it's been weighing really heavily on me this year. I also am trying to get used to opening up in general about my feelings and my struggles so I figured I'd start here.

Since the anniversary of her death is coming up, I'm looking for any advice anyone can give me for staying healthy on that day and ideas for things I can do to honor her memory.

-Summer Iris

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Joined: Sun Nov 07, 2010 5:14 pm

Re: New here, getting used to opening up

Post by cali » Sat Mar 19, 2016 12:17 pm

Dear Summer Iris,

I'm sorry you lost your friend to suicide. Sometimes it seems the second anniversary is more intense than the first. But many of us have found that the lead up to the day is more anxiety producing than the day itself. I think it is a lovely idea to do something to honor her on that day. Is there a place the two of you liked to go together? perhaps you can go there and put some flowers or spend some time remembering all of the nice times you spent together. You will always have those memories, maybe the best way we can honor someone we have lost, is to cherish them. Music, and artwork can help. See how you feel, if you want to be with others on that day, decide who, and make plans. Planting something could also be a nice way to honor your friend. I wish you peace, and healing.

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Joined: Tue Dec 31, 2013 4:09 am

Re: New here, getting used to opening up

Post by seeking » Sat Mar 19, 2016 5:40 pm


I am deeply sorry for the loss of your friend, Kelcy. Such a loss is not easily forgotten and we manage as best as we can with the resources we have been given and in the best manner we know how. Yet some days, that is not enough, it seems. Our dear ones are never more than a mere thought away. I still think of my brother, whom I lost over two and one-half years ago, every single day.

He had always loved the beach and the color red. So one year, we took red lanterns to the beach and lit them for him as the evening set in. It was a peaceful moment as we paused to look up into the dark sky, watching the lanterns as they flew higher and higher into the sky, taking our thoughts along with them. There were other people there who were strangers to us, that also stood still to watch the lanterns. I like to think they were sending up kind thoughts and prayers for him, as well.

Maybe you could think of some special, unique things Kelcy used to cherish, that made her happy when she was here and celebrate those things in her honor and memory. For example, one man I read about went to his brother's favorite restaurant on his birthday and ordered his brother's favorite meal. These actions serve to remind us that our loved ones, though not here with us physically, are very much still a big part of our daily lives.

I think this year, I might take a bunch of red balloons to the beach on my brother's birthday and release them right at sunset.

Sending you kind thoughts and profound comfort in your time of grieving.

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