Losing your one true love

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Joined: Tue Mar 08, 2016 5:29 pm

Losing your one true love

Post by TeranA » Tue Mar 15, 2016 1:08 am

My first boyfriend, my first love and my first death. I lost my boyfriend to suicide on October 4th. Today ,March 14, would have been our 3 year anniversary. He took his life 5 months ago and it has been the hardest time of my life ever since. My life went from waking up and falling asleep to the person I thought I would create a life with to all of a sudden feeling so alone.
I had no idea he had been suffering, nobody really knew, he was so good at hiding it. We spent the best 2 1/2 years together and I have memories that I will cherish forever. He was not only my boyfriend but he was also my best friend. We were planning on getting our own apartment and we were going to get a pug, name it TANK. I can just imagine how wonderful that would have been. Even if our trip only lasted for a while I am glad I got to spend it with him.
It all started when he left his house and he pushed away his family after he turned 18 and I met him one month after that, through our relationship I always thought they just didn't have a good connection. One day he came home from work and very mean things were said that he eventually ended up pushing me as well. My heart was broken. He didn't speak to me for about 2 months and then I get a phone call. The phone call that changed my life. His father told me the news, he took his life at a hotel room the night before. He had planned it all out. The night he committed suicide, I had such a strong feeling about him. I felt like I missed him, like I wanted to see him or talk to him. I sent him a message telling him hope all was well and that I missed him. I never got a reply but I found out a couple days after that he had already been dead when I sent him that message. I have always felt a very strong connection to him. I know someway or another he will always be with me.
The day of his funeral I finally got to meet his family. They turned out to be the nicest people, I believe that he always knew his destiny and he just pushed away in order to not hurt us when he did go through with the suicide.
I remember the stiffness of his body the day of his funeral, images in my head I cannot get rid of .I just wish it was all just a dream sometimes
He was my earth angel. The worst part of it was not being able to say goodbye or to see him one last time while he was still alive
But knowing that he is now at peace without any sickness makes me imagine him dancing and singing free of all troubles. A part of my heart will always belong to him.
I now have an angel looking over me

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Joined: Thu May 05, 2016 9:45 pm

Re: Losing your one true love

Post by BobbysLady » Tue May 17, 2016 6:31 am

I just lost my boyfriend one month ago. The person i fell asleep next to and woke up with is gone. And im too left all alone. So many memories. He had hidden it so well also. It's almost as if those who hurt so badly hide it so well. I hate suicide. I hate struggling with the pain and questions. The judgment of people who have never understood. I hope you have found some peace. Youre in my prayers.

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