Hello
One month before my eighteenth birthday 8 years ago I lost my dad to suicide. I have never really openly spoken to anyone about my feelings around what happened that night and so I came here in search of people who have experienced what it's like to be left behind.
My dad drank quite heavily when I was a teenager we tried many things to help him but to be honest were totally out of our depth, he promised to get help but he never did and then one day something unthinkable happened.
Dad had been very touchy with me a day or so before he did it, kept snapping at me for the smallest things but honestly I blamed the alcohol when someone drinks as much as he did you could never tell what was actually him. I found my dad in his shed he had hung himself and had locked the door so I couldn't get in, some neighbours jumped over the fence and broke the door down but it was too late the paramedics could not revive him. The last thing he said to me was "if you've got a problem with me just tell me" he had been drunk and bending my passport up and I asked for him to pass it back to me.
Since that day my dad's family have blamed me for him not being here anymore and for a while I agreed with them, I no longer speak or see them. Dad had promised never to let anything bad happen to me and yet he did the worst thing that ever has.
I just wanted to tell someone this I suppose and to say in a way time is a healer, it gets easier but it never leaves you. Thanks for reading.
Claire
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The Suicide Grief Support Forum is a public message board, an outreach project of the Parents of Suicides (POS) and Friends and Families of Suicides (FFOS) Internet Communities. The forum officially began on October 2, 2002. Our mission is to provide information, support and comfort to anyone whose life has been touched by the suicide of another person. Connecting with others who have walked the same road can sometimes make a difference in how we survive a tragedy that may be incomprehensible. The board is monitored by special volunteers who give freely of their time in memory of the people they lost to suicide. We do not pretend to be professionals, and we encourage anyone whose needs are greater than can be met here to seek out professional help.
These links are for our other outreach sites. We encourage you to visit them. Parents of Suicide Internet Community Friends and Families of Suicides Community POS-FFOS Internet Community We Remember Them Memorial Wall Suicide Memorial Wall International Suicide Memorial Wall Faces of Suicide |
This is not a suicide or crisis hotline. Please contact a counselor, family member, friend, or emergency services if you are having suicidal thoughts. Visit www.samaritans.org or e-mail jo@samaritans.org or www.befrienders.org for international telephone numbers. Or in the USA, call: 1-800-SUICIDE 1-800-273-TALK1-800-784-2433 1-800-273-8255 For Deaf, Hard of Hearing, and People with Speech Disabilities who use a TTY, call 1-800-799-4TTY (4889) Links to Other International Resources |
My dad - John
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My dad - John
by clairebear1333 » Sun Jun 24, 2012 4:37 pm
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Re: My dad - John
by BobW58 » Sun Jul 01, 2012 10:41 pm
Oh .... my ..... goodness. You poor young lady. I cannot imagine the pain you've been feeling for the last eight years. You couldn't have helped your father no matter what you did. I am so sorry for what you've endured. God bless you Claire. I wish I had more to say. I'm so sorry .
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