My Birthday....

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My Birthday....

Postby MissinMommy11 » Wed Sep 07, 2011 9:59 am

My birthday is on tuesday... ill be 28... this is the very first birthday without my momma...

i cant believe that she has been here for the last 27 birthdays but this one... she wont be... when i was little (well really until i moved out at 21) she would come and wake me up on my birthday at 3 am (cuZ thats when i was born) with a cupcake and a lit candle, and whisper singing "happy birthday"... we would share the cupcake and talk for a little bit... and then id go back to sleep... sometimes she would climb in and sleep with me... after i moved out she ould show up on my birthday morning with breakfast every year... the last few years that didnt happen, once she started going downhill... but i still got a text... i looked forward to it every year... this year my phone will be silent... no text from her...

it feels like my world end tuesday... like something horrible is going to happen when i wake up on my birthday and the one who gave me life isnt here... how is this possible? :cry:
MissinMommy11
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Re: My Birthday....

Postby BluePookie » Wed Sep 07, 2011 1:10 pm

My 28th birthday was 3 weeks ago... The first one without my dad... It was hard :( In the previous night I couldn't sleep because I didn't want the time to pass. I didn't want to become 28 without my dad here. I just want to stop time. That big events make all this so real, it's like we're numb through regular days and that special days just shake us and say "this is really happen, he's really gone..."

[[[hugs]]]
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Re: My Birthday....

Postby blisandt » Mon Sep 12, 2011 8:37 pm

Tomorrow is my second bday without my folks. My Brother was the first to have one without them... That was hard. He turned 50. A Big One. And I could only send him gifts they had kept for his kids - bought already for certain ages still to come for their grandsons. Hard.

My first one without them I made sure I was out of town - away - far away from my normal life. This year I am home, but I am stronger and feel better... sure I miss them... but I am making my way Through... and the only way Out of the place we are left in by them, is Through.

Keep marching on.

Thank you for being here, so I could post on this difficult topic.
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Re: My Birthday....

Postby MissinMommy11 » Wed Sep 14, 2011 1:53 pm

for me, it turned out to be the anticipation of the day was MUCH worse than the actual day... i had this impending dread that something horrible would happen when i woke up and it was my birthday and she wasnt here... nothing happened... i woke up sad and weepy but we had somewhere to be at noon so i had to get up and get moving! That was good for me! It turned out to be a really nice day! We had lunch in the city, my husband and i both got a tattoo, i got my ear cartilage pierced (our good friends work at the tattoo place we go... they werent busy yesterday so when we showed up they had cupcakes for my birthday and they sang to me too :) it was a really nice afternoon there!) we went and saw the new planet of the apes movie, and then went for dinner and margaritas at a great local mexican restaurant! Great day with My Great Guy! ♥

im so glad i was busy! i was a mess on monday night and would have been a mess all day yesterday had i just been home...

i miss her so much!
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