Secret lives

A discussion of any suicide issue or grief topic that don't fit elsewhere.
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Joined: Thu Apr 26, 2012 6:39 pm

Secret lives

Post by lyn » Mon May 27, 2013 5:46 pm

Over the last year since my husband took his life I have wandered down many mental paths seeking comfort, answers. And I am beginning to be surprised at the number of people that I know but didn't know suffered from depression and took medication for such. Anti-depressants, anti-anxiety. Functional people. So I think what I am discovering is that depression is wide-spread and when our loved ones, who are almost always loving special human beings, hide their pain from us and apologize and leave us; it is searingly painful, but not as unusual as it feels to us because I was so clueless. And I had lost a friend years ago to suicide, but she had always been in therapy for depression due to childhood trauma. Until it is our loved one, mostly we feel normal and think it's "them" with perhaps brain malfunction or an extremely poor childhood. But no, it's actually all of us and sometimes I think part of it is luck at some type of intervention before this secret obsession to leave the pain and shame behind results in a suicide. It would have been almost blind luck for events to have fallen into place to result in saving my husband from this tragedy. And not all well intentions work and often our loved ones have weighed living with their pain or leaving us. And I believe they don't want to leave us, but the more depressed they get the more it seems the only answer. And they hide it from us because they know we wouldn't be able to bear it and would try to stop them, none of which they want. I'm just amazed what I am discovering; that mental unhappiness is so prevalent. I don't have any answers, obviously, but I am amazed by the people I am finding out are on medication for sadness or had a close family member that tried to take their own life, but incredibly lucky events fell into place and they survived. I am honestly happy for them and honestly shamefully jealous also. We should feel supported to be honest about the death of our loved one. Children to not be ashamed by a strong parent they looked up to who took their life. Many sensitive, admirable people commit suicide. It needs to be brought into the light. I guess that's all I have to say. I guess that's enough for one day's pondering and fitting my brain around the unthinkable. The people we never thought would do it. Indeed. Like us.

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Re: Secret lives

Post by Blossom » Tue May 28, 2013 12:10 am

Beautiful wise words, Lyn.
Blossom x

If nothing else, give refuge to those in need.

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