My dog died

A discussion of any suicide issue or grief topic that don't fit elsewhere.

My dog died

Postby Tootle » Wed Nov 14, 2012 9:43 am

My sweet sweet dog, my dog who helped me struggle through all the deaths in my family..my foster daughter, my dad, my stepmom, my best friend, my cousin and my brother has died. I am so so sad. She developed diabetes last year and I worked so hard to keep her going everyday, she was the nicest, most caring, sweetest, gentle dog..she steadfastly stood by me while I suffered through each day..her loyalty never wavering. She followed me everywhere, she was so selfless in her care. She took on so much after Rob died..she developed multiple tumors in the month after he passed, she always sat at the gate and was always happy to see me come home, my best friend.
She died yesterday
My heart is truly broken now
I can't stop crying
I miss her so much
I feel so alone
In memory of my big brother Rob, my hero and best friend.

To forget time. To forgive life. To be at peace.
Tootle
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Re: My dog died

Postby cmarie » Wed Nov 14, 2012 1:08 pm

tootle, I am so, so sorry. A dog's love is so constant and unconditional. There is nothing like it.
I am so sorry for your loss and pain.
Take care.
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always.
As long as I'm living,
My baby you'll be.
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Re: My dog died

Postby Blossom » Wed Nov 14, 2012 3:35 pm

Darling dog. Thank you for looking after Tootle. xxx
Blossom x

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Re: My dog died

Postby Tootle » Wed Nov 14, 2012 10:02 pm

Thank you my friends, it was so hard to come home from work for the first time today without Teema here to happily greet me, her death was so sudden, within 24 hours and has left me with a lot of questions. It's so quiet and cold and lonely here now :(
In memory of my big brother Rob, my hero and best friend.

To forget time. To forgive life. To be at peace.
Tootle
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Re: My dog died

Postby Blossom » Thu Nov 15, 2012 1:42 am

It must be hard to be the only living thing generating warmth (in every sense) in your home right now. Are there any other board members who face this and can share what helps? My sister lives alone, and this is always a challenge for her (she is not bereaved, but alone)...my heart goes out to you. My dog licked the tears off my face one night as I sat, slumped on the floor, sobbing, and I know she wasn't just after the salty tears! I just know. I hope that what I have said here is ok and not inconsiderate of your feelings of grief for your dear dog.
Blossom x

If nothing else, give refuge to those in need.
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Re: My dog died

Postby briansfolks » Thu Nov 15, 2012 7:04 am

Tootle, sorry to learn of your dog's passing. She was a care giver to you during you for years. Somehow animals do this without training, and to think that we are taking care of them, rather it is the other way around! Wishing you well. Take care, brian's dad
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Re: My dog died

Postby psyquestor » Thu Nov 15, 2012 11:06 am

(((Tootie))) I am very sorry to hear that your dog has passed. I believe in "puppy therapy" as I call it. I had never had a dog before but after my son passed, I felt his little brother (who was only 11 at the time) needed a dog. He wasn't talking to us Tootie and I was scared for him. . . scared I'd lose another child to suicide. As we looked for the perfect companion for him, we found little Chiweenie puppies. (Chihuahua and miniature dachshund mix). He could not make up his mind on which one, so we ended up with two. One is mine and the other is his. There have been so many times that Chip or Maggie will come to us when we are sad and just lay their heads on our laps or snuggle us. They know that we are hurting and they want us to know that they love us. Having a puppy also got me up and out of my bed some days. Puppies cannot be ignored! In that way, Chip helped me to keep moving.

If anyone out there is considering getting a dog, I would say that I believe it would help. Dogs are natural comforters and I think that Puppy Therapy is some of the best stuff that life has to offer.

((((Tootie))))
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I thought I would lay down and die after losing my Son to suicide.
Instead I chose to fight the monster that killed him.
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Re: My dog died

Postby cali » Thu Nov 15, 2012 1:07 pm

Tootie, I'm so sorry you lost your loving, sweet, Teema. I had not had a dog for over 2 decades. I have two cats, 18 and 16 years old. Almost a year after my son died I knew I had to find a dog, and I looked around the internet at rescues sites my area. I got a dog that had been kept in jail just to give birth to puppies over and over again for 4 and 1/2 years. She had never been inside a house, and she had been abused. She was fostered for 6 months before I got her, and she is the sweetest, most undemanding, and grateful being I have ever known. She is now very social, and stands up for herself with other dogs at the park when needed. Last year I got her a puppy she could keep forever, who is also sweet but has been a bit more challenging. So many times they have been my reason to get up in the morning, the only cause for me to get some fresh air, and the most constant form of sweetness in my life. Last night I was very pissed off and used the energy to scrub the dishes in the sink while I ranted and raved, and put them in the dishwasher. I was only focused on my anger and the dish racks. When I was done, I looked down to put the soap in the container in the door, and there was the puppy's bright orange ball, carefully and quietly placed on the corner of the dishwasher door, while they both sat several feet away looking concerned. My heart just melted. I don't know what I'd do without them.

It's hard to lose an old friend, especially one who is connected in some way to the person we lost. When I pet my cat, I remember my son picking him out at the shelter, and days before he died, sitting cross legged on his bed with the cat curled up against him. I'm sorry Tootie, I hope that Teema's love for you is returned to your life in other ways, and if it feels right, there are so many more animals out there who would love to love and be loved by you, when the time comes. I know it wouldn't be the same, but it might be positive. We are all thinking of you.
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Re: My dog died

Postby Suzanne » Thu Nov 15, 2012 4:47 pm

Tootie, I am so sorry. My dog Shadow has been my faithful companion. He gets me out of the house and takes me on wonderful adventures in the out of doors. He snuggles up in my lap (all 37 pounds of him) when I get home from a day out. I have had dogs my whole adult life. Losing one is so very hard. I know you gave him a good home and a good life.

Suzanne
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http://books.google.com/books?id=4zThE8 ... A7o6s-fPpU
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Re: My dog died

Postby Tootle » Sat Nov 17, 2012 9:59 am

Thank you for all your kind understanding words, this has been such a terrible week. Life just seems so bland and worthless this week. My Teema was my reason to get up, get moving...I couldn't keep crying around her either, she would just be so concerned that she would nudge me or just make me comfort her..it just helped so much. She had the most beautiful, doleful eyes that would just melt my heart. I still needed her so much, I still grieve so much. I picked up her ashes yesterday, the mournful look I got from a lady sitting with her old dog at the vet just made me feel so sorry for myself and I sobbed all the way home. Bringing my girl home. I'm going to spread her ashes at her favorite place, she loved the beach and she loved to run without abandon into the water. I'm finding it hard to eat or do anything enjoyable...last night I went out to be around friends to try and pick myself up, but it all turned out bad, I was so hungry and the pub we went to had such terrible service that I angrily left after an hour of waiting for my food to come(which never did), I got into such a state that I completely lost my appetite and couldn't eat, I was just a shaking bundle of raw nerves. I just want to snap out of my grief, I'm so tired of loss, of feeling so blah inside...
In memory of my big brother Rob, my hero and best friend.

To forget time. To forgive life. To be at peace.
Tootle
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