Who our loved ones were!!!

[Carly]

I have come to realize everything I rite is about that horrible day or about how horrible I am feeling, so I decided I just wanted to say a little about Leigh, the person he was......

Leigh was the most amazing person and I mean he really was he never had anything bad to say about anyone, was never any trouble for the family, so caring, Leigh was the best little brother I could have ever asked for, we were very close in age only 11 months apart, Leigh as a little one from the time he could walk everything was about bikes and match box cars, he was so so good on a BMX, I remember as a little girl I loved the whole dress up and make up thing I had no little sister so it would always be Leigh that let me put a dress on him and some make up do his hair and of course by the time he was ten that was no longer aloud when Leigh hit his teenage years it then become all about the girls, Cars and fishing really anything to do with water, he was a real water baby, oh and motor bikes how can i forget motor bikes he loved them, when he hit 18 then it was just cars, water and his first love, I had my first baby at 22 which Leigh and his girlfriend at the time come to the hospital and got me through most of the labour, then when I had her he was so very proud you would have thought she was his own, so I made his girlfriend godmother, then that relationship come to and end and he meet some one new, She had two children and he treated them as his own then about a year later he had his beautiful baby girl and the kids become his world he was so over protective but that was him, when he had his little girl he really found a love for butterflies........

A poem he found that he loved.....
A child is like a butterfly in the wind,
Some can fly higher than others,
but each flies the best it can,
Why compare one to another?
Each one is different,
Each one is special,
Each one is beautiful.....

Leigh also had a massive love for animals, He would forever be taken in strays!!!!!

Anyway I would love to hear about your loved ones, If you are up for sharing........

Carly xoxo

[Matnet4]

Thank you for sharing about Leigh, Carly....he truly sounds like a wonderful guy.....it's amazing, the similarities many of
our loved ones have.....they all seem to have loved animals, were gentle souls, etc.
My Mark loved animals, music (he played the trumpet in grade school then began playing drums in his early
teen years) And, he loved cars!! His favorite was the Ford Mustang, although the car he owned is a Honda Prelude.
Almost as old as he was.....in high school he took automotive tech studies and thought he wanted to become
a mechanic......after working some months in that field, he decided it wasn't for him....he much preferred driving
cars to fixing them. Yet he and my husband constantly worked on the cars Mark had.....for only having been a driver
for 4 yrs. before his passing, he did own quite a few cars......at least 4 that I can think of.....all older, and in need of
work......he and my hubby would work on those cars all the time, even rebuilding an engine in one of them. I'm so glad
they enjoyed that "hobby" together. My husband swears that our son enjoyed it.....I'm not so sure--I think he just wanted
his cars RUNNING so he could DRIVE them......

Mark and my daughter were close in age, like you and Leigh......18 months apart. (my daughter is older) He was
such a gentle kid growing up...I always wondered if having an older sister (and not a brother) made him so gentle.
He could be "all boy" when around his male cousins, but he just wasn't a rough boy....he always demonstrated a
quiet strength though. He played sports some as a younger child (soccer and baseball) but eventually preferred music
to sports.

Mark had a girlfriend of 3 1/2 yrs...her Dad passed away not long after Mark began dating her, and it was as though
he became the "man" of her household.....he'd fix things, do heavy yard work, etc. I always believed he needed to
do that to "shine" on his own, as my husband was so capable, and did any necessary "fixing" of things around our
house.......Mark, in my opinion, was ready to be out on his own.....he was working w/ my husband, learning the
major appliance repair business that would have been his someday.

My daughter also had a baby at age 22.....and Mark loved his nephew so much! He showed up at the hospital when
his sister was in labor, and waited it out.....how it crushes my heart that Mark isn't here for my grandson. (the
baby was 4 mos. old when Mark passed) My grandson knows his Uncle through pictures, but it always puts a knot
in my stomach when I think how much my grandson would have enjoyed his Uncle and vice versa.

Our lives seem so empty without Mark......even though he was a quiet guy, his presence was very strong.
When he'd quietly come in the front door everyday, I always knew when he was here, even if I hadn't heard
him come in.....there is such a void without him here. We love and miss you Mark, more than words could ever say.

[Carly]

Mark sounds like he was very talented and also very gentle,I also have noticed most of our loved one's loved animals, Your son very much sounds like he was mummies little boy and what a awesome person he was to call your son.....

. I'm so glad they enjoyed that "hobby" together. My husband swears that our son enjoyed it.....I'm not so sure--I think he just wanted
his cars RUNNING so he could DRIVE them......

Hehehe that is so cute, boys and there toys, and yeah I think I would be with your son there it's a lot better driving them than fixing them.....

Thank you so much for sharing.....
(((HUGS)))

Carly xoxo

[ScottsMom]

Thank you both for those little bios and memories. I am always struck by the similarities as well. Their nature, hobbies, passions and most of all their general acceptance of everyone. They all just seem to value others simply for their existance and not for material or cosmetic reasons. Do you ever wonder if that is somehow important in how they coped? I know I do.

So, a little about Scott that might me new to you.

Scott being the firstborn made him a leader- whether the hijinx and decisions were a good idea or not. He didn't really like rules and wrote his own. The important ones involved the aspects of his soul we already discussed. He was sweet and respectful to women and very protective of those he loved. I was his #1 girl and we both knew it. I was proud me wasn't womanizing and in relationships for himself. He had been dating and planning to marry a girl we all adore. I already knew what a good father he'd be and that only made him more attractive to her. Much of their date life involved Phillip, our youngest. They both loved to take him everywhere or just hang out with him. They were like a little family.

Scott had always been mechanical and was also an auto tech student. He had several cars, including a retired cop car! He definitely liked them fast and loud -like Mark. Until his year at the vocational school Scott had not been a successful student, but once he started he really shone. He refurbed a vintage Camaro that year- overhauled engine and all except the body work. That was 'senior' work but he made such an impression he was given the work. Very cool!

As a little boy he was happy and witty. Just full of jokes and a sense of humor many adults can't match. He was mischevious and silly. Adventurous and fearless, hunting from a treestand when he was only 7. He was like a little monkey, happy at great heights, balanced, agile and confident.

Animals loved him and it was mutual. There was one prize cow on ourrented farm that fell for Scott. She'd run to a fence corner near the roadwhen she heard the school bus coming. Then she would carry on, mooooooooing and mooooooing, she'd keep that up until he crossed the big yard and greeted her. Over our 15 years here it has never happened again- that cow love. She would have let him ride her, it was truly special.

Scott adored baseball until high school when he'd be thrown in with boys who tormented him. Up to then most of his league play had resulted in winning seasons and several titles. He could do it all but his catching was incredible. He had a 6th sense for a pitcher's plan and was so much fun to watch. Very few balls got by him and I can see him peeling that mask off to setup to catch those high and back fouls and teaming with the pitcher for home plate outs that made the dust fly! Oh, those were fun and wearydays. Even at t-ball level our leagues travel - exhausting crazy fun and a huge character builder. Teamwork, commitment and fairness. He took those 'laws of life' seriously. Perhaps a bits too seriously in a world of 'every man for himself'. He expected the world to give as good as he gave. I'm glad he never gave up trying that theory.

He was honest to a fault and until that last day I never knew him to tell a lie. It was just not in him to deceive.

Its hard to list the good without qualifying it with the bad, for me. I can say he was exactly what I always wanted when I consider his heart and intentions. I couldn't be more proud of the person he was. I aspire to emulate his inclusive love for others.

V--

[Matnet4]

Carly--"boys and their toys......" YES! I still smile at the boys (some would be called men) when enjoying
a "toy" such as a car, boat, etc.

Yes Val, like Scott, Mark loved his cars fast AND loud......I remember one of his cars--it actually ran
pretty quietly--until Mark and his best friend installed a "cherry bomb" muffler.....YIKES! I knew the
neighbors weren't going to be happy. Thank you for sharing about Scott...I love reading about our
loved ones lives, not just talking about their passing. It's so true what you said about how our loved
ones accepted people and things for what they were--not just for material or cosmetic reasons.
I had to throw in that Mark had his eye on a Camaro before he passed. We have pix of him on his
phone, with his head under the hood, and him checking that Camaro out.....it wasn't
running, but Mark was still interested in it.

[Nik's mum]

You're so right Carly - although I think about the person Nik is every day most of my posts on here are about me and about how I feel.

Nik was a lovely little boy very gentle and loving when he was 2 all he wanted was to be a tap dance and would take anyone that came to the house into the kitchen and dance for them (bless him) the kitchen had a tiled floor and he could make a noise with his shoes. He was loved by all the teachers at nursery and school even as a child he had a wicked sense of humour! Nik and his brother used to fight like cat and dog when they were young, but if any other child picked on either one of them the other would step in to help them.

Nik always loved animals I can't tell you the number of times he brought home stray animals (or what he though were strays) we usually managed to track down the owners so only ended up keeping one kitten - he so loved that kitty.

Nik wanted to be a chef and when he left school he went to catering college. After he left college he worked in a few restaurants before finally deciding that he wanted to be a pub manager. He was assistant manager to a pub in London before coming back to our home town with his girlfriend and running a local pub.

After a few years of working unsocial hours he got a job working for a hotel chain - this is the job he was made redundant form

Nik was a lovely guy he would do anything for his family and friends. He absolutely loved cooking - even making his own bread and loved nothing better than baking of cooking for his family and friends.

At times his sense of humour was outrageous but he could also be extremely passionate in what he believed in. He sometimes would only see things in black or white he could see no middle ground. Oh and he like nothing better than a really good debate.

I have such fantastic memories of Nik and I will carry them and him in my heart forever. Thank you for listening.

Jackie x

[ScottsMom]

Lots of "snips and snails and puppydog tails' here. But I detent some sugar and spice.

I love hearing this stuff too. The stuff that still IS with us. We were all forever changed long before our losses. Good thread!

Love to all of you

[samwong]

I will post more about my mum, but i feel sad to do it right now. So many things i want to say about her.
One thing, she a mother of LOVE and KINDNESS. SHE my MUM. love you.

[Carly]

Thank you so much for sharing, I love reading about who they were, they were all so so amazing and you all must be so very proud to call them your sons

They all just seem to value others simply for their existance and not for material or cosmetic reasons. Do you ever wonder if that is somehow important in how they coped? I know I do.

ScottsMum I totally think that had everything to do with how they coped.....They had so much care and compassion about everyone and everything....

Carly--"boys and their toys......" YES!

Marks Mum When I was little it was just the 3 boys Dad and I , So me being the only girl in the house I had to learn all about the boys and their toys fast, what i was aloud to touch and what I wasn't LOL

Nik and his brother used to fight like cat and dog when they were young, but if any other child picked on either one of them the other would step in to help them.

Nik's Mum sibling love me and my brother were totally the same we could have the best fights, One of our fights when Leigh was 8 and I was 9 I remember he pushed me over I landed wrong and broke my arm, I think he cried more than I did, but no one else could ever hurt us, we were so protective off each other.....

Samwong that's fine you just share when you are ready, I knew when I started the thread it would be hard for some people, and we you are ready I would love to hear about you mum.....

Once again that you show much for sharing,

Carly xoxo

[blume07]

My son was my heart, my first born. He was a gentle child, so cute, everyone just loved him. And smart...when he was just 2, I remember there was a family gathering and I asked him, "who's the president". He said in the sweetest childish voice you'd ever hear..."Jimmy Carrrrrtteeerr". And who's the governor? "Jerrwwyy Bwown"!. Everyone was coming up and asking him, he was the hit of the party....I think it was actually my great-grandmother's funeral! He was a good distraction! He was a teacher's dream. Straight A's. He was a fun kid. Everyone wanted to be his friend. And he was the best friend anyone could ask for. He had one of those beeming smiles. He always tried his best and did his best. He was his worst critic and was so hard on himself when he couldn't accomplish something. He loved Star Wars, and he had all the figures and star warships. He was very talented. He could draw, he did beautiful airbrush designs. He went to college, had a child his 2nd year but it didn't stop him. He was more dedicated to make something of himself for his family. He received his BA in only 4 years..with honors. He started teaching that very next school year, and stayed at that same school for all his 11 years of teaching. He was a wonderful teacher, his students all loved him. He was very dedicated, he made teacher of the year, and he was the chair of his department. He was a computer techie. He knew all the technical stuff, from setting up electronics and sound systems to anything to do with the computer. He didn't have much patience, at least when it came to me asking questions about the computer. He'd show me once and expect me to remember...then would get frustrated when I'd run into the same problem and call him again with the same questions. I think it all came so easy for him, that he thought everyone should get it. (I couldn't get the concept of drag and click!!) He loved trying out new recipes....I remember the year he deep fried a turkey...quite an experience. Keep in mind, he only did it ONCE! He loved all kinds of music, and had shelves and shelves of albums and CD's. He was always making me CD's of music he knew I liked. He knew all the singers and groups from all the oldies to all the current stuff.
He was so knowledgeable in so many subjects. He loved comedy. He had a favorite commedian and at parties he could tell you about an entire skit or show. I could never grasp how he could remember it and recite it line per line, verbatim. He'd remember all the classic lines from movies. He had such a sharp mind! He was very close to his grandparents, his aunts and uncles and cousins. He loved his family. His kids adored him. He loved being with his cousins. They were all married with families and all their kids were around the same ages. They would all go out together and take the kids camping, to Disneyland, to the beach. In fact, just the week before he died, they had all gone out to Knotts Scarry Farm. He loved his Lakers and Dodgers!! I knew never to call him if one of his teams was playing....and I knew never to call him if they lost!!

My son wil not defined by his final act....He will forever be remembered for the beautiful person he was, inside and out. I am so very proud of him. I miss him every day and I will forever. Thanks for letting me share a part of me with you all.