My brother Rob was a kind man, he would stop for anyone stranded on the side of the road and he would do what it took to help them, even if it meant taking up half a day, and then he would refuse to take anything for it, I think he just loved the adventure. My brother Rob liked to embellish his stories, make them larger than life, my dad was like that too...it actually made for great story telling, Rob was never at a loss of things to talk about. When we were young he always watched out for me...one time I was being bullied by a bunch of neighborhood kids, he rode up on his bike and stood up for me and they never bothered me again..
He was popular in high school, the girls all loved this tall, handsome fellow... It was easy for me in high school because of my brother being so well liked, all the older kids were nice to me.
We enjoyed skiing together, he was crazy! I would follow him anywhere on that hill, black diamond runs, you name it, I would be stuck to him like glue, he was proud that I could keep up and would tell everyone how good I could ski(he wouldn't tell them about me whining when I got stuck in deep powder).
He was the best brother I could have ever asked for, he was brave, friendly, a gentleman, kind hearted and full of humor...we had a ton of laughs together! We got this inflatable kayak once, hardest thing to get into...we laughed till our bellies ached trying to get into that thing, so glad someone took a picture of that! He just loved a good time and wanted to motivate everyone to have a good time with him... Ahhhh I LOVE the good memories... Just sad how they turn around into 'i'll never have this again" sadness.
I'm trying to heal, trying to live with both the good and the bad... Most days are low, but the summer is here now and the heat at least feels good on this grieving soul.
I just found out that a friend of mine lost her ex-boyfriend to suicide 4 days ago, he died on the 5th anniversary of his dad's death.. I really feel for her and for his family..
I'm going to go to my first survivors meeting tomorrow night, kinda nervous about it, but I'm willing to try anything to get to coping with my loss...I know I'll never get over Rob, I just need to cope. I'm seeing a counselor now, I'm doing what I can for myself. Doing hot yoga, which feels very soothing and soft on my soul..and getting lots of exercise. Most of all I'm trying to live in the moment, here, today. Life is hard.
In memory of my big brother Rob, my hero and best friend.
To forget time. To forgive life. To be at peace.