When people ask me about him i wish i could tell them "my brother was a happy person who loved life,and he was enjoyng every second of it ,and even if hes dead now and i miss him dearly,and even if i cry every day,i'm proud and glad that he lived the way he did,and that he left this world with a full taste of life in his mouth".
But no, no, no, my brother was a Sad unhappy person who hated this world and his self,he was sad and lonley and life seemed so heavy to him to carry on.
But i will never be sure of his motives,what truly was going on in his head,why he did what he did,and if he ever saw (even for a moment ) how beautifull person he was.Kind carying loving sensitive,funy and pritty with the most beautifull blue/gray eyse that i have ever set eyes on and i will never look at them again.
Is so Hard to loose someone, so loved to suicide.
Once i read "grief is the price we pay for love" but such a grief we all here endure is more than that,is the pain of knowing our loved person was suffering,is the guild that spins in our heads,is all those "if'" and "why's" and the unberable trauma we gonna carry on the rest of our lives,is the stigma, and the absolute devostation those people leave bihind.
My brother took his own life 4/8/2015 hes free now from his sorrow,His sorrow is now mine.
forgive my poor english