I'd rather kill myself than......

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I'd rather kill myself than......

Post by mariner » Tue Oct 01, 2013 11:37 pm

My mom committed suicide almost 3 years ago. I was the closest family member to her as I was the eldest son. I found her lifeless body hanging from the door to her apartment. 3 years later I am still coping with her loss....There isn't a single day that passes by that I don't think about her. I am afraid that I may not be coping as well as I think I am as I may be burying the pain, emotions, and drama deep somewhere in my mind. I am afraid it will surface all at once someday and cause a compete breakdown. So far that hasn't happened so I am greatful.....

Since my experience with her suicide, I have notice how often people say the stupidest phrases like....."I'd rather jump off a bridge than date that guy...". Or "I'd shoot myself before I work for that company". Or "I'd kill myself before I would be seen wearing that shirt". Etc.....

Every time someone says a dumb phrases like that my heart skips a beat..I try to ignore that comment but it REALLY irritates me. I think some people say it by habit and are a part of their phrase vocabulary. My wife even said it a few times during her conversations with me without thinking about how it would affect me...I tried to ignore it and felt there was no point in making a big deal about it. She is not saying it to hurt me of course... I finally got fed up and told her that although I am dealing with my moms suicide better than I would have ever expected, when she makes those comments with those kinds of phrases it really bothers me....She honestly wasn't putting 2 & 2 together and realize how insensitive those comments are and hasn't said them since.

I don't know why those phrases bother me so much but it may be the fact that people who say them have never had a close person whom they loved more than anything in the world pass away by suicide...those types of phrases seem to trivalize the gravity and severity of how devastating suicide is for survivors..... Having terminal cancer and the suffering that goes with that disease is no laughing matter. You never hear phrases like "I would rather have terminal cancer and waste away and loose my hair than ........". Suicide is not a joke and should not be used in an everyday phrase in an feeble attempt to express a negative opinion about a certain viewpoint.....

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Re: I'd rather kill myself than......

Post by briansfolks » Wed Oct 02, 2013 9:47 am

I hear those phrases on TV, and in real life more often than you think. When I do the memory rushes back every time. Heard it at a visitation at a funeral home. Even saw someone point their finger like a gun to their head because they forgot about something. I realize it isn't done purposely but yes it bothers me greatly. Most people do not intentionally say something to hurt us. Our son was at a funeral home where the deceased had died of a heart attack. In a loud conversation between two men waiting in line someone said laughing "I about had a heart attack when I heard the news!" Insensitive??????? I think so but people just do not think.

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