At my younger brother's wake, a friend of mine walked up to my mother and said, "It's ok; I KNOW it was an accident." That made me angrier than I think I had ever been! There was no way that it was an accident. My family had been pretty open about what happened to my brother. While we didn't exactly put it in the obituary (my father chose "short illness", to which I replied, "no, it was a very long and painful illness"), we didn't sweep it under the rug. If someone asked what happened, we would say so (only giving details if someone were so rude to ask). The friend KNEW what happened. To say that to my grieving mother who was brave enough not to fall into denial was almost more than I could take. Even after all of this time, I still get a little hot under the collar when thinking about it.