ok I am so mad

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ok I am so mad

Postby jillslay8 » Sat May 12, 2012 10:54 am

to day is may 12 2012 on march 8th 2012 Kenny was found i knew he would be found dead (i still can not think of him dead i know he is but ???) my boyfriend of over 20 years we live together keeps saying to me you used to be so smart you used to use your head get your head out of you a** do not let this rent space in your head get over it WTF also my favorite is WELL YOU KNEW THIS WAS GONNA HAPPEN. also it upsets him when i talk about all this he thinks of his own mortality WHEN IS THIS ABOUT HIM? i say you are to be there 4 me i never said this 2 you when you talk about your parents i would not ever say that to someone i hate let alone someone i love and care about ----then he says i never said that
Ken,I miss you so much it hurts. I hope you found what you wanted. All we found is pain.
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Re: ok I am so mad

Postby psyquestor » Sat May 12, 2012 4:14 pm

(((((Hugs)))))) I am so sorry you are feeling this way! My husband was a first class jerk in those first few months too. It was his way of dealing with it. We nearly split up because I felt like he had no idea what I was going through and was not being as supportive as I needed him to be. The thing is, that this will effect each of us differently and if he is acting oddly (didn't act this way before Kenny passed) then it may be that?

Praying you two find a common ground.
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I thought I would lay down and die after losing my Son to suicide.
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Re: ok I am so mad

Postby jillslay8 » Sun May 13, 2012 12:33 am

thank you so much maybe so , I am happy there is hope.
Ken,I miss you so much it hurts. I hope you found what you wanted. All we found is pain.
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Re: ok I am so mad

Postby lonelymom » Tue May 29, 2012 7:25 pm

My husband and I with the help of a counselor try to be understanding of each others emotional temperature. I am much more visible with my grief and the hardest thing for him is my crying. I react to the simplest of triggers. He seems to internalize. He has had to learn to allow me to grieve and not feel he did something to cause it. Whether it is a song on the radio or driving by the hospital where our son was pronounced, I would sob and he would say " I should have had a different station on the radio", or "I shouldn't have come this way. " The thing is you have to respect each other and support each other or you split. I think Mom's have such a special relationship with their babies, they naturally react more dramatic, because it is so heart wrenching.

Our therapist maintains tears are cleansing and cry away. Tell your companion to let you grieve freely. It is a process and a journey and you need him to walk through it with you to comfort and support you. Its just how it is. Otherwise you end up a statistic too.
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