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How everyone doing

Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2019 3:55 pm
by samwong
It's coming 9 years for me ... I don't even know how I passed the time... But eventually it's not that pain... But sometimes it just excruciating painful.

Re: How everyone doing

Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2019 5:47 pm
by RubyCat
It's been a long while since my sister and dad died by suicide. The grief I experienced after my dad's passing was nothing like what I experienced with my sister. I have a lot more anger and avoidance the second time around. However, something that has never changed since my 1st loss is the vivid nightmares about either my sister and dad or other people I love - always dead or in extreme danger. I wake up with this weight that wears me down throughout the day.

Last night was particularly terrible because in my dream my dad was upstairs and I knew he was dead but then a panic washed over me that he also killed my mom. I ran upstairs and was relieved that she was still alive (again - in my dream). Even though she didn't die in my dream and is alive in real life, it was extremely disturbing and I almost had a mini-emotional break down on my way to work. I haven't told anyone because I'm tired of seeing their reaction of pity or worse, make my other sister and mom feel sad.

Ugh. So that's how I'm doing.