Denial

[Bereaved1]

So, I walk around thinking I'm completely healed from my fiancé's suicide in 2008. It's been almost 4 years! And then bam, I get hit with some huge lapse of something important I forgot. I feel really confused. When I remember and straighten the thing out in my mind, I recognize the same old grief pattern of forgetting because of denial.

[Blossom]

It's a blow....I hate those pull-up moments when the wheels grind to a screeching halt - so bloody disappointing! Please be kind to yourself.

[Bereaved1]

Thanks Blossom & Lanie. If I could only keep my stomach out of this, I could cope a lot better. Stomach pain all night. Plain toast and tea with a little powdered ginger helps this morning as does knowing the world it nuts. It's not me. So, trying to let the craziness go, breathing and trying to stay calm is my objective. I realize that, as a woman, when you get to a certain age, everybody hates you and has no problem letting you know by being overtly nasty. It feels crazy because I am the same person with the same qualities, only better, that I have always had. I must remember that it's not personal. Nothing is personal. Even loved ones are not personal. They are only acting out their own pain. So, nothing has anything to do with me. Ok, so, I'll also try to stay objective. Tell my stomach.