time to face it

For suggestions on what helps us cope after our lives have been affected by suicide.

time to face it

Postby lonelymom » Mon Jan 30, 2012 7:22 pm

I left my home on Dec. 19 th for Florida (from Michigan) to avoid the painful holidays. I was hoping to set new traditions as this was our first Christmas without Jeff, our only son. Of course you can run from your grief but cannot hide. It finds you wherever you go. But I had some moments of normalcy hanging out with a lifelong dear friend who understands my grief. Or at least admits she cant imagine it and would never try to say she does. Its been 6 weeks and now I have to return to the scene. Back to sleeping in my brand new bed he chose to die in. Back to the memories of the paramedics moving my furniture to work on him. Back to weeping over his things. His clothes are gone but not his stuff. I know I can "cope", but it sure was nice being in a place that had no ties to him, reminding me every minute that he was gone. I still mourned and grieved but there was some relief from the constant reminders. The ride home is so hard. Nothing else to think about except my loss. How do you refocus? When does it get easier. Im 11 months out and still a mess.
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