My father committed a murder suicide

For friends and family members of people who took the life of someone else before ending their own lives. Issues relating to murder-suicide complicate grief for those left behind, so the need for positive support is significant.
Posts: 14
Joined: Fri Sep 16, 2011 12:15 am

Re: My father committed a murder suicide

Post by vejoan » Wed Sep 21, 2011 2:09 am

Hello, I just read your post. I understand what you mean when you say what you did was not enough. When one person is purging their own struggle by inflicting pain on others the potential for murder is always present. Therefore, you can never take any blame because you simply cannot be in two places at one time. You did what you could. Surely,there were times that a disaster was avoided because you took action or stood your ground. But when a volatile situation exists it is a matter of time before something bad happens. It may seem wrong to look forward to good things when some one has lost their life. But what is the alternative? You have suffered enough. You will grieve as long as it takes and then come to a calm in your life. With some time and gentleness you will feel better. Your sister made a great sacrifice and at soul level she knew that he could never harm anyone again. You have the opportunity to show great respect for her by living fully. You can begin to breathe fresh air and see clearly the chance to be emotionally and spiritually healthy by gaining balance in your life. Don't be hard on yourself. Some days will be smoother than others. Because I have been there I can tell you it gets better. What we don't understand we can put in God's hands. Let Him take your burdens. Once you release to Him the things you cannot bear they belong to Him. You will be alright. Keep communicating. It is healthy to share. Love to you.

Posts: 29
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2012 12:29 am

Re: My father committed a murder suicide

Post by marigold » Mon Feb 06, 2012 1:05 am

Many hugs, I'm so sorry for your loss. It's true that people don't understand, but I've learned to be glad that they don't have to feel this. We get to be the strong ones, the leaders - and we can feel so much compassion and empathy. Oprah did a great talk about how pain makes us wise leaders, it was nice to be validated in that way even if we feel differently. And, you were so strong to remove your dad from the situation, I'm so glad you're reaching out and trying different ways of coping.

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