Is anyone else still angry?

Especially for those whose mothers or fathers died by suicide.

Is anyone else still angry?

Postby GBYDY408 » Fri Jan 09, 2015 12:01 am

Hi, I'm the new kid here and I could use some help.

My dad shot himself some years ago. His dad did too so he thought that made it more acceptable. I'm angry at dad for dying that way, knowing what it would put us through.

I know this sounds bad, but I used to hate him. Part of me still does. I think it's keeping me from forgiving him and moving on.

If anyone has ever felt like this and found a way to forgive the person they lost, please let me know.
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Re: Is anyone else still angry?

Postby Michaelsdad17 » Fri Jan 09, 2015 4:41 pm

Anger, hurt, pain, denial, questions like why just keep repeating in our minds over and over like a bad song stuck in your head. I guess I am new here also but you can say I am the last of the triplets living, my father ended his suffering 2008 and he had liver cancer was an alcoholic and at the end his body was wracked with constant pain without relief. he was not eligible for transplant due to alcoholism so your sentance is painful daily death. My son on the other hand struggled with mental illness problems all his young life and a blind fit of anger and rage took his own depressed life, but in reality he was doing the best he had ever done for himself at the time of his passing, nice living conditions, warm bed, with family, his mother and sister. Anger is part of the huge gamit of emotions, but the one biggie, the one even anger cant surpass is the coexistance of neverending pain. Maybe the truth to the unanswered questions will come at the moment we reach our final seconds of living flesh. I am not pushing religion on anybody but just think for a moment, Jesus who died for our sins and was resurrected after 3 days, knew pain, he knew sorrow, and yet he also knew that once you pass as long as you believe, your passing washes away your whole lifes sins at that moment, just like the paradox between life and death, at birth we meet, and so the possibility at death we are re-united and meet again
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Re: Is anyone else still angry?

Postby GBYDY408 » Sun Jan 11, 2015 12:50 am

Hi Michaelsdad17, Thank you for your feedback.

I can’t undo the past for you, but want to say I’m sorry for your loss. My dad was also an alcoholic. He quit once but started again after I moved away. He was dealing with medical and financial issues also, so I understand some of what you’ve gone through.

I found out later my father had previous suicide attempts. When he felt he had no other options he took all of his pills and drank a lot of whiskey before he shot himself. He meant for it to be permanent this time, because his neighbor couldn’t tell he was dead for quite a while.

It sounds like your son did it on the spur of the moment. Maybe he had been in survivor mode for so long he felt overwhelmed when he really thought about his issues. My surviving family learned to appreciate each other more after dad’s suicide. I think his mother and sister would’ve helped him if he had reached out to them and I’m truly sorry he choose not to do that.

I’ve been told that these feeling, having to co-exist with never ending pain, will be part of us all of our lives. Our beliefs may be different, but you did share yours in a respectful way. What's important is having something that helps you get through each day.

Thank you for your reply and take care of yourself.
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