There are a lot of great books out there- one I read was called "dying to be Free" by Beverly Cobain. I found it really helpful in providing a perspective from the suicidal person.
I'll like you for always.
As long as I'm living,
My baby you'll be.
I lost my husband to hanging 7 years ago. Our daughters were older than you, but they too grieved the loss of their father. By turns, they were angry, grief-stricken. As their mother there is nothing that makes me happier than to hear them swap stories now about their dad. They have come to understand that they love him and were loved and cherished by him.
When you are ready to share this with your mother,I imagine she will be very happy to know that you know your were loved.
Read our story
http://books.google.com/books?id=4zThE8 ... A7o6s-fPpU
cmarie, the idea of complicated grief rings a lot of bells. I've found myself letting this grief affect relationships with people I care about, who don't know. I came to a tentative conclusion that I needed to deal with this before I could be close to someone again, or I would end up hurting them. You've kind of confirmed this for me, if I understand what you're saying. Thank you for the advice and the book recommendation.
I know that I need to be able to talk to my family about it, but for some reason the idea of that just makes me shake with fear, even 14 years later. I don't understand it. I think I want to talk to them about it, but there's a block that I don't understand. Thank you for the kind words. I wish you and your daughters the best.
thank you for sharing.
I can relate a lot with numbing the pain for the sake of appearances. My father committed suicide when I was 18 and I was determined that I was stronger than it. I refused to notice that I was in serious trouble.
I too find it impossible to speak to family about it, and I don't know if I ever will. I haven't told any friends about it for years now, it can be so difficult and messy. But like you, I think I am ready to go through the messy parts for my own sake.
It sounds great that you were able to speak to someone in a similar position. It really hadn't occurred to me that there were others like me who had lost a parent to suicide, and your story certainly adds to that sudden feeling that I'm not alone in this.