I'm completely miserable without him. It's hard just to be an active participant in every day life. I don't know how to move on. I HATE being so selfish in the matter, I just find it unfair that he left me here, all alone. Knowing he was the only one I ever wanted. Nobody should have to lose their love this way, and it happened to me when I was 21. I have to go the rest of my life without him, that absolutely crushes me.
I would NEVER wish this feeling on my worst enemy, but at the same time, it's always nice to know that there's someone who feels the way you do, to tell you that you aren't alone.
As I recently posted to another member, around the same time that I joined this site 4 years ago, I also joined another specifically for "young" widows and widowers called YWBB. Virtually any issue related to widowhood is discussed there, and at great length, like losing and missing our spouse, loneliness, loss of purpose and direction in life, etc. And It is VERY active, with hundreds of members, many in their 20's or 30's, and dozens of posts per day. In fact, there are so many members that get-togethers with other members are often arranged.
Although YWBB is open to those who have been widowed by any means, not just suicide, there is a section where those of us who lost our spouses by "socially unacceptable" causes like suicide, addition, etc., often post. It is also quite active.
If interested, here is a link to the site: http://www.ywbb.org
My name is Jeff I'm 27 and I lost my partner last September he was 24. We've known each other for about 10 years. I completely understand your pain. Thinking that you have to go through life in this misery. Unfortunately my loss is also recent, I'm not really sure what to tell you or what to expect. I've been attending a support group, therapy, and now in many medications.
Typically, I just keep myself busy. I guess we cope in different ways, find something that is healthy for you. I know life will never be the same and this is a very sad fact, but it will get better.
You're not alone and stay strong!
Im 26 and just over 2 months ago lost my boyfriend of over 5 years, im finding things incredibly difficult. Im really angry with him, angry he could do that to me, to his family to his friends like you said I wouldnt wish this feeling on my worst enemy.
I dont think ive started grieving properly I have been living on a sofa since it happened so have had no time to myself to really sort through my feelings. Hope your doing ok and let me know if you fancy a chat