Especially for those who have lost a sister or brother to suicide
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- Joined: Sat Jan 17, 2015 12:42 am
Hello, I am new to this forum.
I was just reading some of the posts from people who have lost siblings. The heartache is almost unbearable. If you are an adult, your siblings are the ones you are closest to, the ones you have probably spent the most time with over your early years. They are almost like a part of you. The pain and sense of loss is horrendous.
I wondered, after I lost my sister to suicide in 1994, whether there might be a genetic component. When I lost my younger brother to suicide in 1996, I was fairly certain genetics were at play, but I also began to wonder how much our childhoods, full of abandonment, negligence, abuse, and maltreatment, were responsible.
Two weeks ago my oldest brother ended his own life. Not even the intimate knowledge of the pain this would inflict on those of us remaining, particularly his son, could keep him on this earth any longer. The anguish he described in his many suicide notes was heartbreaking. Not only because of what he felt at the end, but because I knew that the "odds" of losing my only living sister to suicide had just shot up. mainly because she is actually the most ill of us all, and she had actually just attempted suicide a week prior.
So 5 children, who each later had one child. What kind of legacy is this? I guess I am beyond asking why me, and how could they. I want to know how do we stop this as a society? Where are the geneticists who are working on this? How much risk are my grandsons at?
I am sorry for all of us, as survivors. But I worry more about our next generation. What prevention measures are there when you are talking about an entire childhood?
Thanks for listening.
- Posts: 36
- Joined: Sun Sep 21, 2014 1:19 am
Good bless you all. I wish I had the answers for you. My heart and soul are trying to make sense of this dilemma and why it continues over and over. I have lived with suicide since I was 7 and continue to live with the choice of ending ones life several times since then. The pain remains. Some days it has no realistic reasoning while on other days, I have to think about the future several times over again. The pain we face for our loved ones taking their own lives is unbearable and heart breaking, yet, praying that they are in a peaceful place......until I get to meet
them again in the next world to remind them of the severe pain they left behind for loved ones to deal with.
Until we meet again.......with love, anger and resentment.
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- Joined: Wed Feb 25, 2015 5:45 pm
I have no words. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain that you are feeling. I hope that you and your sister are well. I hope that the two of you are able to find some solace.
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- Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2011 2:16 pm
I am "littlesisteroftwo" because I have lost a sister and brother to suicide. I have never met anyone who has lost two or more immediate family members to suicide before. I'm sorry we share this common thread. I think you are correct in your thoughts ...genetics were at play, but I also began to wonder how much our childhoods, full of abandonment, negligence, abuse, and maltreatment, were responsible... There were six children in my family and we were all horrifically abused as children too; and one of my brothers and I were homeless when he was only 18, I was 16. I'm so sorry you are having to walk through this dark valley, yet again. It is a horrible journey to have to endure, especially three times like you have. I will pray for your remaining sister, I hope she can find good help and have peace. I will pray for you too, you have been through a great deal. Please know I care. Hugs!
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- Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2012 7:16 am
There are others who have had multiple suicides in their immediate family. My husband for one, his older brother died when my husband was 15 of carbon monoxide poisoning, and our son much later of a gunshot wound. MY uncle carbon monoxide poisoning , and we have both had other siblings attempt it in their youth but went on to live long lives. We survivors may not be suicidal ourselves but we do suffer depression understandedbly. My husband and I have both lost brothers when we were at the age of 15. I lost my dad at age 13. So death was not unfamiliar to us but when we lost our son it brought us to our knees. Then if that wasn't bad enough my husband lost both his parents a few months later. Death regardless is bad for the survivors.
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- Joined: Sun May 17, 2015 10:29 pm
I don't know what to say, other than I'm so sorry. That pain must be completely unbearable. I have 7 siblings, one of them recently committed suicide. After we all found out, my siblings and I all talked about all the times we looked over the edge, but didn't jump. Of course it's genetics and environment put together. But why were we all able to walk away and he wasn't? Now I'm worried about all my siblings. Some of them are in counseling and getting medication for depression. But will they continue to live? Will my brother's suicide push some of the others over the edge? I don't know what to do other than be there for them as much as I can. Help them to have hope and motivation to live.
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- Joined: Thu Jul 23, 2015 6:01 pm
I was shocked to find this site. I never realized that there were so many others going through the same thing.
There were five of us and now there are two.
Three siblings committed suicide in four years.
Our oldest sister was the latest just a month ago. I am concerned about other family members. I cannot wrap my head around this. We do have a history of depression and bipolar. We also had an uncle on our dad's side that committed suicide.
My mother has lost three children to suicide.
I am the youngest and my sister is five years older. We lost our older siblings.
Me, my sister, and niece that just lost her mother want to heal healthy. We want to be able to help others.
Could this be like a contagion once it is started?
My heart breaks for others going through this.
We are the survivors left behind to deal.
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- Joined: Mon Jun 27, 2016 8:24 pm
I couldnt imagine the pain. I was wondering about the genetics thing also. We lost our dad at the same age my brother just died, 38. I have 2 siblings. We just lost William on june 18th 2016. My other brother (his twin) has had depression and suffers from ptsd. He is career military. I dont know what i would do without him too. I have also suffered from depression and have had thoughts of suicide. Im close with both of my brothers and still cant believe my own brother took his life. He had a great life, great kids, a grandson. I was reading this forum before i joined. The signs were there, i just didnt know it. Before he died, he stopped over as usual but lingered for a bit. I guess now it was to check to make sure he could leave his little sister who he knew loved him soo much. Im not sure where to go to talk about my story. I dont want to be selfish and intrude on someone elses. So far this forum has been a help even though its only day one for me