Feeling guilt and regret

Especially for those who have lost a sister or brother to suicide
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Joined: Thu Dec 04, 2014 7:57 pm

Feeling guilt and regret

Post by kvang39 » Fri Dec 05, 2014 2:10 pm

I feel so much guilt, regret, and pain over the loss of my sister. She took her own life about two weeks ago. She was only 20 years old. She was so beautiful, artistic, and she had so much potential, although she had been struggling with depression most of her life. She has seen therapists and tried medications, and she was actually scheduled to see a therapist the following week before she took her own life.

I can't stop blaming myself for her death. I just keep replaying scenarios, thinking if I had done something differently, I could've prevented this all from happening and maybe she would still be here with us. I can't sleep at night, knowing she's not here anymore and feeling like it was my fault. She reached out to me the week before and told me she was depressed. My sister lived with her boyfriend, about 3-4 hours away from me, so it was harder for me to see her whenever I wanted to, although I shouldn't have used that as an excuse to go see her. She has texted me in the past whenever she was feeling depressed, and I would always let her know that I cared and I loved her, and she would eventually overcome those feelings. I didn't think this would be the last time she would ever come to me for help. I remember I called her and talked to her. She cried to me, and I felt helpless. I didn't know what to do. We talked and I texted her throughout the day to let her know that I was still there. I told my parents that she was depressed and that they needed to bring her home, and I wish they did. I just keep thinking that if only I had taken the time to drive to her apartment or taken her to a hospital, she would still be here. It was my fault. She came to me for help and I didn't help her. She confided in me. I feel like a failure as an older sister. I feel so terrible about myself and I don't know what else to do but cry.

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Joined: Fri Nov 05, 2010 8:30 pm

Re: Feeling guilt and regret

Post by cmarie » Sat Dec 06, 2014 12:28 am

I believe there was nothing you could have done to stop your sister. I am so sorry you have lost her. Guilt, regret, remorse are-all the things we are left to struggle with.
In my experience the pain eases somewhat overtime. Please take care of yourself. Rest, drink lots of water, and allow people to help where they can.
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always.
As long as I'm living,
My baby you'll be.

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Joined: Mon Jun 27, 2016 8:24 pm

Re: Feeling guilt and regret

Post by Mybrother2016 » Mon Jun 27, 2016 9:33 pm

I dont believe you couldve helped her. I am feeling the same guilt. My brother just passed away and i saw some of the signs but never thought he would really do it. I wish i wouldve saw this forum earlier this year and maybe i couldve done something. But i also feel that there was nothing i could do. He did it out of anger and self hurt. I wish he knew how many people loved him. I knew he was depressed but he seemed to get better. He told me a year ago he couldnt live without his ex wife. I cried and pleaded with him. He promised that he would never really do it. He told me he said it out of anger. His life was going great or so i thought. We were very close. The police told us he tried to stop it, but was unable. The only sense of comfort i get is forgiveness. I want to truly forgive him and his exwife ( because he told her what he was doing when he was doing it and she did nothing). When i think of forgiveness towards him for all the pain he has recently caused us, forgiveness comes to a surprise for me in tne fact that i get comfort out of it. Im not an extremely religious person. I do feel like hes more with me when i think about forgiveness. I hope it helps. Again im new to this and am still in a confused, dazed state.

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