i need support and prayer..

[olivia]

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[Nancy Claire]

Hi Olivia.

Take a deep breath. then take another one. I am sorry you are so upset by your neighbor. I wish I had some good advice for you. If you see him doing anything between now and when you have to go to court..take his picture or maybe you could record him yelling at you so you can give that to the judge..just an idea. I am glad your husband is going to go with you even though you are a bit reluctant to have him there with you. Try not to internalize what this man is doing..it doesn't make you a bad person and you have nothing to be embarrassed about or ashamed of...just because he is out of control. don't let him make you feel out of control. You don't need that in your life. Try to stay strong. And remember to take deep breaths and let the air out slowly...it can have a calming affect and it sound like you could use some calmness just now. Peace be with you.

[olivia]

i'm so tired of being afraid to get my mail and work in my yard never knowing if he's lurking around the corner or going to come up behind me and yell at me...
and when we go to court..will the judge believe me ..or will he believe him ' cause he's an old man and they are both men???
thank's for your words they do help and i'm trying to NOT internalize...i always do that when upseted peole com into my life...
i don't have the energy to be put thru that...i thought i was imune from all the feelings i'm feeling again that i lived so many yrs at the hands of my sons' dad...
olivia

[Nancy Claire]

I would recommend that your write down everything you remember him saying or doing in a timeline of sorts so that you are prepared when you talk to the judge. Preparation is important if you want to be listened to. Write it all down so you dont' forget anything and it will help keep you on track.

[bereaved1]

Hi Olivia.

Here's a good link for you today - http://www.dailyword.com/
I'm Jewish and I find the messages there very helpful. You can always substitute what you believe is the higher power - even your wise self - for any words that you might not believe in.

Recovery from abuse is a hard road. I know and I hope this helps.

[IMISSMYBEAUTIFULMOM]

Hey Olivia, I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this, it sounds miserable.

I agree with Nancy Claire's suggestion...sit down this weekend and write out everything that's he's ever done, said, etc...by date/time. Include your responses too.

It'll help you in court, it'll help your husband really 'see' how much has happened, & it'll help you feel stronger that you've put up with a lot AND give you more confidence that you're in the right & he's in the wrong. When people question you, you can reassure yourself by picturing your list or refer to it to keep you focused/calm. After all, it's easy for people listening to you to 'tune out' the details but it's a whole lot harder to dismiss an actual list of events handed to them. And judges, lawyers, police officers LOVE lists...it makes their jobs easier to do.

Perhaps also ask a girlfriend or relative to stay with you? They could be witnesses to this guy's behavior which could be key in court.

And remember, bullies like to prey on people they think are weak. But they tend to turn tail when they see strength. So, if you can, don't let this guy hear you apologize, cry, or panic...it will only feed his pleasure.

Big Hug!

[LANIE]

Hi Olivia: I am so sorry you are having to go through this. Be strong and hold your head up and don't let him intimidate you. I think writing everything down is a wonderful idea and as Nancy Claire said, keep taking deep breaths, breath in through your nose and out thru your mouth and relax. i will keep you in my prayers,

Peace,

Lanie
Monitor

[olivia]

thank's everyone here who's reached out to me in genuine care..
tomorrow i'm going to my doc to get some anti anxiety meds..i do take celexa ..real low dose but doesn't take care of the kinda anxiety i'm going thru..
i did write stuff down for the court date...
it helps and i realized the thing i did that maybe neil can prove just happened recently out PURE trying to surivie...was show him a sign that said "do not talk to me" and he took a pic of me...
and i thought...i could never talk to this man....he a bully who pic on the weak and women......olivia

[olivia]

Originally Posted by olivia

thank's everyone here who's reached out to me in genuine care..
tomorrow i'm going to my doc to get some anti anxiety meds..i do take celexa ..real low dose but doesn't take care of the kinda anxiety i'm going thru..
i did write stuff down for the court date...
it helps and i realized the thing i did that maybe neil can prove just happened recently out PURE trying to surivie...was show him a sign that said "do not talk to me" and he took a pic of me...
and i thought...i could never talk to this man....he a bully who pic on the weak and women......olivia

hi,,,
for the first x in over two yrs...i have NOT had to see him lurking in the background i know he's there...but i'm sure he's wating for the hearing to diss me and make me the "bad " guy with lies ect.
i just hope and pray the judge see's and feels what i've gon thru...
yesterday i went to my dr to get some anit anxiety meds i've been to tramatized by him...
olivia